the org. date is July 23.2007

Ok so the "posted time" says 7:48....yeah it's more like 10:48...but I'm UP CANNING still, I feel like this is all I have done lately! I have been in the garden and canning! Good greif...I'm not complaining, I enjoy it for the most part, but I wonder at how they got anything done in the old days! I don't envy them at all....I love the modern day tech that we are all consuming on a consistant bases! Ok so enough about that....today has been tough for me, I feel sorta disconnected from life right now....I'm not doing "my normal" things...I don't have time to even talk on the phone so it seems. I have been spending alot of time at my grandparents and that is SO COOL, but not normal. My step sister came over today (Becca) and spend some time w/ Emma & Ian while I was "doing beans" that was cool, they had fun watching Cinderella...then Becca tries to explain to Emma that she is my step sister....how interesting I found this to be....totally confused Emma. I have struggled w/ the day that Emma will ask me "who her "Papa" is" and how he fits in the family tree. and as far as my dad...she knows she has a "pawpaw Ken" and that he is in heaven w/ Jesus, and seems to understand that he is my daddy, but never has she asked how Gary fits in or why. Maybe it's because she has two sets of grandparents on the other side so in her mind it's normal. I have to say that it saddens me that my kids won't have to grandparents of our day, with so many more split families, there so many grandparents that is it hard to keep up! Oh well, I know that God is forming her the way she is; special! I know she will understand it all one day. She will never know what she is missing not getting to meet my dad, but God gave her a special person in his place for her, and for that I am greatful. My grandmother told me the other day how blessed Nick and I were that Gary came into our lives and at first I didn't understand. I mean that is my dad's mom, how could she see Gary as "such a bless to ALL of us"? But as much as he will never replace my dad for me, he is the only granddad Emma will know, so for that alone I am grateful that he is a wonderful person. Oh for just FYI, when I talk about Emma, I so mean Ian too, I just think of Emma first, I guess b/c she is the oldest and I'll deal w/ it w/ her first! Ian loves his "papa" more than Emma does at this point, so it all goes for him too! LOL ! Neway, I don't even know where I was headed w/ this thought process, LOL now that is more "normal" for me! I guess for all of you out there who might feel I have dropped of the end of the earth, I haven't, I'm in the garden...learning SO MUCH! I'm sure I'll be back on the phone and internet all to soon! :)