whew....what a day!
Current mood: contemplative
So today we packed and packed at moms house...we got a lot done....Nick(my brother) came and helped and we spent the day just the three of us...it was fun, and I am excited for mom that we were able to accomplish so much!
after that I rushed home to shower and then for a night out w/ Alex, we have been waiting for the shane and shane w/ bebo norman concert for a couple of months now and it was tonight. we went out to eat first to carrabbas and that was a nice treat for us...I thought we would be going to one of the more reg. places that we go...like mcalisters or even sushi 101..but alex wanted to go somewhere nicer. then off to the concert. IT WAS AWESOME! I really really needed it.....I love music, I can't sing or play, but I love it so much, NOTHING can bring me out of a funk like shane and shane or jared anderson or some of my random music I have on my ipod! and I have liked bebo for a long time and haven't really been listening to him...he hasn't made it on my ipod yet...but after tonight i plan to put him on there SOON! His songs words describe me so well, I am the kind of person who loves the words to music....now I'm a big fan of you can't have music w/o the music and the words.....I love both, but the words normally stick out a little more for me than the music...alex it opposite.
Nwway, it was wonderful night out w/ alex, I realy miss not going to more concerts like we did before the kids. But they make for late nights, we didn't get home til after 11 and I felt really bad having mom and gary here w/ the kids. so I will really relish this night b/c I know it's not something we do often! There is another one near my b-day that we will probably go to, so I'll have to look forward to that!
So that has nothing to do w/ what I wanted to blog about....I guess it was my starter! I wanted to talk about my newest discovery...words. I have been thinking alot about words lately. Words can encourage, discourage, hurt, bring joy, mean alot or mean nothing, they can be good and they can be bad....so who decides what they become? the person saying the words or is it the person receiving the words who decides how to take them? I heard a lot of words tonight, and they encouraged me, they pricked my heart and they make me think....but it was how I received them that made me feel the way I did....or was it how they were presented wrapped up in music that made me so open to the words? Can I decide how someone says something? Or do I only decide how to except what they say? and to go a little farther w/ this....can I decide if someones comment is negative or positive or is that decided by the person making the comment? Am I making any since? If someones says something to me and I'm not sure how to take it....they may have meant it negatively or positively....but for me, it's still my right to decide how I want to take it...I don't have to agree....I can have my own opinion of the whole thing....don't you think? Just b/c someone else may look at a situation one way doen't mean I have to too! It's my choice. and as far as that goes it is the same way w/ blame....I can choose to take blame or not....if I am in the wrong, then I need to take responsiblilty for that and make it right, but if I feel that I have done nothing wrong, and I am being honest about that then I have no reason to carry any blame about the situation....sometimes things just are what they are. Do you think we tend to do this, place blame, so that we don't have to deal w/ it ourselves...like if I make it sound like their problem not mine, then I don't have to take responsibility for my actions....I think it is a bad habit for everyone and maybe I'm wrong, and I'm the only one seeing this problem in my life...but I know sometimes that I want to push the blame button so I don't have to think about my role in the situation or what I am suppose to do to make the situation better...and I also know that sometimes I allow the blame to be placed on me when I shouldn't b/c I know I haven't done anything wrong....BUT I am the only one who can choose not to accept the blame even when it is placed. I am the only one who can choose for me how to accept the blame...or present the lack of accepting blame....how ever the case maybe.
Have you ever been at the place in a situation that you just feel like screaming and giving up...ok so duh we have all been there...even one of the shanes was talking about it tonight....it's so hard for me, b/c I feel like it takes so little sometimes to send me there...to the place I when I want to throw my hands in the air and say forget it this is to hard....it's so easy for me to go from fine to funk in seconds it seems...and I don't like it at all...I told a friend the other day that sometimes I have these feelings that I don't want to have, but I can' just wiggle my nose and make them disappear..so what do you do? How do you deal? I have been working on the answer to those questions, but I want to know what ya'll think....I'm going to save my conclusion for tomorrow or whenever I blog next...but really think about it....what do you do, past the blame, face it head on, run or choose the funk? and pass that, what does God want us to do? He gave us emotions....how would He want us to express them?
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