Isn't it funny!

Isn't it funny how you tell yourself things sometimes and even when you tell yourself you know it isn't true!....like for instance, I have been telling myself that things are going to slow down and I am going to find my rountine soon! HAHA...yeah right... I also keep telling myself that I'm going to get my house better orginized...haha again! I have been bothered so much lately about the fact that I have desires to do things, yet no will power to actually get it started....what good does it do me to but it off? all I do in the end is stress myself and continue to say "I really need to work on that"....and if in fact I had just done it to start w/ I would be feeling more accomplishment in my life instead of failure. Now if I can just learn from my own words I would do well.
I had a good week, nothing major happening here on this home front. I had a busy week w/ not much time at home.....lol...that also seems to be the story of my life. Yesterday I did a party....19, 4,5 and 6 yr olds...it was crazy and fun. I worked w/ someone new and made an instant friend....at one point she asked me "what do you do all day?" she to was a stay at home mom and wondered how my schedule was....and it made me think, what do i do? UMMMMMM....as you can see I'm still thinking about that one. Especially when my house seems to be upside down again and I constantly feel like nothing is getting done. Does Alex ever wonder the same thing when he comes home....I mean, let's face it, I know what he does, he goes to work, and WORKS, hard to provide for us. I stay home and take care of our children, something in which I am so grateful I get to do....but is that where my work stops....or should there be more to it? Do I hide behind the fact that I have two little ones as an excuse to put off the things I don't like doing...and in the long run who am I hurting? ME, b/c I like order and accomplishing things and if I don't do those "not so fun" things then I am only hurting my mood and that in turn effects my family! So here is the question...why do I do it?
So that leads into my next thought....why do we as women allow ourself to lie to ourself w/ the "well we have to" or the "I'm so busy" or the "my kids won't let me " mind set. I have always been told the saying "you have time to do what you want to do" but what if the "what you want" isn't the "what you should?" How then do you respond? I know I haven't always been responding the way I should...sometimes I need to be more dedicated to the task God has called me to and not so dedicated to the task I would rather be doing!
Last Tuesday at BSF we heard a lecture that talked about Jesus understanding His purpose....to glorify God in every stage of His life. and we were challenged to do the same. We were asked "what stage we were in now" and "How are you doing?" I know that for now God has called me to be a "mommy" yes I am a wife first, but that isn't a stage, I will always be a wife, from now until forever....now I know you are thinking...but you will always be a mommy too, but no, one day I'll be just mom and then more friend than parent....the mommy stage only last so long...and I know that I am called to be that for now and as long as I can be, but what does that involve, what does that look like? Well, FOR ME, it means doing whatever reasonable to show my children the love and compassion of my Saviour, to teach them and love them so that they can look at me and see Christ through me and that they might desire to serve Him also....but even as I type that it overwhelms me, the responsibility of that order I placed on myself.....I know it is something that I can't do in my own strength, but through God's strength I can so all things and I know He will show me the way. My God is awesome and I can't wait to watch my children as they get older and understand more how wonderful He is.....today at lunch Alex was asking Emma what she learned and she told him about Sunday school and then she wanted to say her verse (the one we are working on for AWANA) and so she quoted "while we were sinners...Christ died for us" then Alex asked her if she was a sinner and she said "yes"...I know right now she only understands so little....mostly what we tell her....but it amazes me that she is already getting a smalll grip on the idea....it also amazes me that she doesn't doubt what we tell her, she just believes....I am getting a new idea of the concept of having faith like a child....I am going to relearn to do that!