...all the ballerinas....so much fun!

This past Friday afternoon we invited some of Emma's friends and had a "ballerina birthday party"...as you can see from the pictures, it was ALOT of fun...lot's of pink and purple...tutus and all the things ballerina's need! They made bracelets, and then we dressed up. Miss Tara came from Emma's ballet studio (and special friend) and danced w/ the girls! They had so much fun dancing w/ a "real ballerina!" Of course there was cake...well, cupcakes, and they were pink and purple too!...great job Susan on the icing...yummy! or as Ian says it yummy in my hummy! along w/ the cake was Emma's favorites...pretzels, watermelon, and skittles!..lol..what more could a girl want! We finished off our fun w/ our treat bags...which were ballet bags to hold all our dress up clothes for them to take home and a bag of cotton candy! There bag was full of tutus, tiaras, wands, bracelet, necklace and cotton candy....what more does a ballerina need?...lol...it was so fun! I love planning parties, I could do it all the time, I worked for a while w/ a party company and have picked up a bug from doing that...it's so fun to me...ok..so I will admit that the day before was a little stressful I was making cupcakes and canning (tomatoes, squash and green beans) but again, thanks to Susan to the rescue, I had it all done by 10:30 the night before!lol!

Emma was thrilled and loved every minute, and of course as a mommy that thrilled me to death....now for the thank you notes and printing the pictures!...whew!, I think I'm tired again :) Enjoy the picture!

better late than never..right?

Ok so a few weekends ago we headed to the beach for a couple of nights....just a quick get away so the kids could play in the sand. As you know, our "vacation" this year was to disney world, so this wasn't vacation...actually it started as a weekend trip for Alex and me, but we really wanted to kids to go to...so we took them w/ us. We left on Thursday afternoon...and came home on Saturday. We were able to stay in Alex's dad's condo, it was wonderful...the kids shared a bed for the first time, and they did great. ..we put Ian down first, then Emma, then when we went to bed we would move both of them to the pull-out couch...funny story

our first morning there, Alex had set the coffee pot to come on at 6:30(b/c our kids are always up early!)
this was a conversations we overheard b/t Emma and Ian

I: RayeRaye, what's that?
E: I don't know
I: it's scary
E: I think it's the coffee pot
I: I don't like coffee pot....it's scary
E: I'll go ask mommy
I: k...I come to
E: Ian, it's ok, don't be scared!

the noise of 2 pair of feet on the floor....here they come!
E: there's a noise out here....
Me: it's ok, it's the coffee pot
E: yeah, we discussed that, and thought that's what it was!...
that comment was said so matter a fact....cracked me up...she is such a mommy!

so we were on the beach at 8 the first morning...it was wonderful, the kids played and Alex and I just sat and watched...at one point he said, I feel like I should be playing w/ them, to which I reminded him to sit as long as he could, b/c as soon as he started playing, they wouldn't let him sit again!...lol...so we sat, it was great, it's the first time since we have had kids that we were able to sit and not have to have a kid in hand at all times!..it was a wonderful break for us....Saturday we woke up to a storm coming in, we played in the indoor pool for a while, but then decided to pack up and leave a few hours early, the kids were worn out and ready to nap, and what better place to nap than on the ride home! It was a great short trip...and I am SO glad we went, the dr.s have already "greatly discouraged" me from going anywhere else, even though I have a few more weeks that I should be able to travel....that's another post!

same song, 2nd verse

I find myself here again, really late at night...Alex is at work, again! He promises me these "shut downs" they are doing will end before the baby's born....I am praying so! So tonight I was doing bean and it was storming...I found myself wishing Alex was home...and that surprised me, I have never been scared of storms (that was my brother when we were growing up...well still to this day!lol) anyway, I found myself wishing Alex was home and that puzzled me a little...I wasn't scared, but I was thinking that it would be nice if he were here...go figure, then I realized it had more to do w/ knowing he was ok, not me being scared of anything happening to me, but to him...will I ever get over that fear? Fear is not from God, so I know it's not something He desires for me to continue to struggle w/...but it's also something that is not easy to face or deal w/ or remove from your life. Are there somethings in life you just can't stop "fearing"...? It's not unusual for me to tell Alex to "please be careful" which I don't think is an abnormal comment to make...but I follow mine w/ "and stay on the ground please!"...which is my way of saying...please don't get hurt again!...when he works late, I find myself worried that I'll get the "dreaded phone call"...the day we left for the beach, I worried about him all morning....(we were suppose to leave for the beach the night of his accident) but my question is, why do I still worry so much about it. I know logically that it was an accident that is one of those things that "just happened" and the chances of it happening again are so slim. But I also know how blessed he was for it not to have been any worse than it was, and I find I worry next time is will be MUCH worse and that scares me.....ok so my point, why do I continue to worry about it...worry is a sin. But I think reality is real....duh, no what I mean is, I worry b/c I know. I know what it was like to deal w/ a "freak accident" one of those things that's never suppose to happen, much less happen to you! I worry about loosing my mom to cancer. I know that alot of people have lost loved ones to cancer and they will probably understand this worry. Once you've been there, you know...and I can't help but worry....even though I KNOW I shouldn't! I can't help it...this reoccurring mass she has could turn into something else...I know, it's already happened in our family....that "most likely" bleeding ulcer wasn't a ulcer at all....I know. Ok so I guess at this point I need to ask for prayer! I am struggling w/ worry...obviously! Mom should have a consultation tomorrow afternoon to get some answers. Twice I have been faces w/ the "C" word, once w/ dad and once w/ mom already...I just don't think I can do it again! How selfish does that sound? I know....really well, that my God always gives me grace for the moment, but is it bad that I don't want to need it?.....please pray :)

well, a crying sleepy little girl just came in my room, tonight I think I'll let her stay a while! :)

ramblings of a wife who's husbands at work and she can't sleep!....enjoy! :)

Ok so Alex is working again tonight and I can't sleep! I don't really have much to say tonight...it's been a busy week, but a great week. I seem to be full of words, but nothing that makes much sense!lol....oh, I am proud of the awesome deals I found today...I LOVE deals! If you are someone who likes to shop ahead for your kids, then you need to make a trip to Concord Mills to Children's Place...they are having a great sale that just started today! I brought $135 (retail price...not that I would EVER actually pay retail!) for $19.78! So I saved $115.22 or something close to that! I did have coupons and one was for $20.00 off...so that is part of the reason I did so well! But if you are interested, they had their swimsuits for $4 (lot's of boys) boy's shirts for 3, shorts for 4 or 5....sundresses for 4, tights for girls for 1 and socks. I got Emma a pair of jeans for 2...well I paid .83 but they were on the rack for 2. Anyway, it was a great sale...I didn't even feel bad when I went back for some shirts for Emma that I really wanted to get her and they were in the new line that just came out...now I still used a 15% off coupon, but they were more than I would normally pay, but I brought them anyway!...one says "big sisters rock" and the other says "my heart belongs to my daddy"...I couldn't pass them up!lol...I am and always will be a sucker for clothes...and I am worse w/ my kids clothes then I ever was w/ my own! I LOVE shopping, but now I just do it differently then I did when I was a teenager!lol!

I also scored some Christmas presents at the disney store!...yep, I said Christmas!lol. I am bargain hunting this Christmas like I never have before!lol...but here's the deal w/ my bargain hunting...it can't look in anyway like a bargain...it must be something the person would really want, and not a knock off in any way!lol...so I guess you would call me a picky bargain hunter! Example...I'll give you 2....1. I wanted one of those stuff pillow chairs (we called them husbands growing up, but I have no idea why) anyway I wanted one for Emma's room..I wanted it to be purple, I looked at them at bed, bath and beyond....but didn't want to pay 20 even w/ 20% off...so I waited! Ross (which I don't go to often enough) had one, it was purple w/ white pokeadots...in Matt. it was 20 in Monroe it was 10...it has a dirt mark on the bottom (so not a big deal) but it got me an extra 10% off...I had a store credit from Christmas(yes I do return unwanted presents!lol...a whole other story!)...so end the end I paid $2.10 for a really cute purple husband!lol! If you were to look at it, you would think I paid atleast 20 for it!...the other example, would you believe I forgot what it was...I was just thinking about it...hmmm oh I remember, I needed a birthday present for my friend Susan's oldest girl...she got an American girl doll for her birthday...one night when I was out shopping w/ Susan, we found A.G. doll books on how to fix their hair or make them clothes...they were 20, I was able to get a coupon and go back and get it for half that....so it looks like a nice 20 gift...but I only paid 10...everything I buy is like that....I'm not cheap...I'm smart! oh, and Susan knows I did that...so don't think I'm spilling any beans there and am going to have a friend who's thinking I cheated her daughter!...lol...Susan knows I'm "smart" lol!

Anyway, back to Christmas...I shop from around now, until Christmas, and normally I'm done by the first of November!...this year, I am taking a little different approach, I am shopping for everyone else on my list but my own kids now...I want to finished by the time the baby comes...but then I'll wait til closer to Christmas to do my kids and Alex...why, well, I find that I want to spend more money on my kids if I shop for them to early..(of course there is the present in my attic for Ian that has been there since Jan. I found a workbench after Christmas for like 15 it was 75 and I knew it was something I wanted for him to finish up his car's themed room...but it was over his age for his birthday...so in the attic it's been and he will love it this Christmas!lol)...I know, a little weird, but if I spend the money now, then as I go out near Christmas, I find more, and spend to much!...so, I'm going to wait til closer...that way I don't over spend!...I have alot of my list figured out...but my own kids are hard for me...what do you get when you have NO MORE ROOM in the house for anything? I think I'm crazy...who thinks about this stuff in July?...I have got to be the only one!LOL! I blame it on Alex's accident...that year I hadn't shopped much before his accident and shopping was very hard to fit in...so ever since, I have shopped very early!...so that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it! :)...ok so enough about shopping and Christmas!...I'm actually tired, I'm going to try and sleep now...this sounds bad, but I'm so tempted to go and get Emma and let her sleep w/ me until Alex gets home...bad, bad...and I sound like my mother saying that...she used to do the same thing to me when I was little!lol...oh well, I know no other mother that I would rather be like!

talk to y'all when I get back from the beach!...btw which is it officially? Y'all or ya'll? I know I'm from the country, but I'm just not sure which one is "country correct!" LOL! tell me what you think!

tears for a reason...so the test says!

So lately I have be EXTREMELY emotional....I have told multiple people that I don't think I have cried this much in forever! I got teary eyed over y'all's (now there is a country word!lol) comments tonight. I know I told Susan just today, that I have been so much more moody and emotional w/ this baby than I remember w/ either of the other two! Well....I got a reason today, I found out that my iron is low...so all the tiredness and tears...it's not that I am going nutty, or crazy(although Alex might disagree sometimes) it's that my body is tired which has always made me emotional....and I don't think my body can handle much more. Mom has been struggling w/ low iron and she has also talked about being so emotional...maybe it runs in the family! I had low iron w/ Emma in the beginning and was VERY emotional then also, but until now I always thought it was b/c that is when Mom and Gary where getting married and there truly was a lot going on w/ my family and that I would of been emotional anyway..but being pregnant made it worse! But now I see that for me....low iron and tears come together!...last week I cried over every tv show I watched....I promise Alex thought I was losing it...I having been feeling like I'm losing it! I was actually relieved to get the prescription in the mail!....and I can't wait to get it filled and start taking it!...I know I'm crazy, most people I know don't like the iron pill, but I loved it w/ Emma, I felt so much better...I have high hopes again this time, HOPEFULLY in a week or so I'll feel like a new person...well, I'll be thrilled w/ a little more energy and a few less tears!lol! As far as the braxton hicks, I had them w/ both of my other 2, so they aren't new to me at all...w/ both Emma and Ian I had heavy bouts of them especially toward the end...the last 4 weeks or so...w/ Emma I had them over 2 months considering she was 3 weeks late!...lol...the difference this time I was concerned w/ is that I didn't remember them starting up so early...I have been having them since 26 weeks and they have most of the time been accompanied w/ a very sharp pain around the area where I would normally have cramps w/ my period and a lower back ache that would hang around a good while....so that made them VERY different than anything I have ever had before....hence the concern, but the dr is confidant that it's normal, especially for a 3rd baby and explained what to watch for. I have also heard the whole thing about drinking more water...I swear though I'm going have to sit on the pot all the time if I drink anymore!lol...but I know I have be outside alot lately and I'm sure dehydration is probably playing more into it than I realize!....thanks for the comments and helpful hints...I do appreciate it, it's nice to know we have all be told the same thing at some time or another! :) It's hard to believe that I will be 29 weeks on Sunday, time is still flying by. When I was pregnant w/ Ian and 29 weeks life was a VERY DIFFERENT story! I was in SO much pain, it was near Christmas, we were about 4 weeks into Alex's recovery and my body was shutting down on me...Christmas night I took Alex and Emma out to his dad's house...stupid, stupid of me...I knew better, I was in NO condition to do that...but we went, I got sick there, had to leave before desert, and couldn't even get them out of the car when we got back to mom and Gary's. I started throwing up from pain that night...poor Alex couldn't even help me, all he could do was get in his wheelchair and knock on mom's door to come and help me, I couldn't even get out of bed...the dr's was clueless as to what was causing the pain and I felt like they didn't believe me...they basicly overdosed me on muscle relaxers to make me stop throwing up....as a last ditch effort before heading to the ER...which worked, until they wore off! The next day they sent me to physical therapy to which I had NO understanding of what they were going to do to help me...by the grace of God they had a cancelation otherwise they told me it would be a week until I could get in!lol....no way I was waiting a week! The therapist, God bless her, I'll never forget her, she will always be a hero in my book, took one look at me and said, how are you even walking or fucntioning? "Honey, you have tilted your pelvic bone and every muscule in your back is torn...I can't believe you are even walking...I just sat there and cried, FINALLY someone believed I was in pain!ALOT OF PAIN! After she adjusted me, it was immediate relieve...I promise that pain is the worse pain I have ever felt in my life...way worse than labor ever was. Don't ask me where that story came from, other than I truly feel like this pregnancy tears and all has be a breeze and I hate sounding like I'm complaining about the braxton hicks...they are strong, but they are NOTHING compared to what I dealt with with Ian! I do feel like I am "done" and ready to have this baby...but atleast the days are still flying by, w/ Ian, I felt like everyday lasted forever and time seemed to move SO slowly! Yet even as I rehash a story...it all seems like a blur to me...like I lost those 4 months while Alex was recovering. It's funny, his Mom said just the other day that she never realized I dealt w/ so much w/ that pregnancy...I guess I even felt that way, we were all so focused on Alex and everything going on w/ him that until that Christmas night when I couldn't do anything but throw up, I didn't realize how bad a shape I was in...anyway, I am SO THANKFUL that this pregnancy has been so easy...only 11 weeks to go...I hope, BUT I'm not known for having my babies on time!lol...but it won't stop me from hoping! :)

Ultrasound pictures at 28 weeks

the best picture of the bunch! But I do have to tell you that his nose is being squished by the u/s wand!lol!

he was really really wiggly, so some of them look grainy....but then I did just drink 50mg of sugar in that nasty drink!lol....whatcha expect!

here's one w/o a squished nose!...lol!


baby hands....always seeming to be punching me right now! :)

baby feet!...big feet, they reminded me of Ian's feet....he didn't fit into his baby booties, I doubt I'll even take them w/ me this time to the hospital!

So that is a glimpse of baby Eli, I must say, it has made me SO excited to get him here and see what he really looks like! I think he will look a little like the other 2, but yet I defiantly think he will have his own look too! He seems to have Ian's nose and Emma's mouth, but then it's really hard to tell, and they said he would change in his looks before he's born!...just like they change so fast when they are first born!....so well see!...hope you enjoy, and don't tell me I have an ugly baby!lol! It's a little freaky...these pictures, like the foot one, it don't look like the leg is attached to anything...but it is I promise, that was him again not being still!lol...the dr I saw this time said I might want to start talking to him now about being calm....I was telling him about my concern for this "frantic movements" that Eli seems to do often....he assured me that any movement is considered a good thing...it's the lack of that's not good! lol...duh! But he laughed and said...just like the 2 you already have...this baby will have his own personality....start telling him now to be calm!lol....GREAT! He also wasn't concerned about the "brackston hicks"...is that how you spell that?....as long as I don't have more than 6 an hr...even the pain/cramps I am having w/ them is ok as long as it doesn't last to long and not more often than 6 in an hr....so now I have guidelines!...I love guidelines, they give me so much comfort!lol...so all is well in Eli's world...only 12 more weeks...well....actually 11 weeks and 2 days!lol!...but who's counting! :)

Birthdays, bikes and ballet shoes!

Emma at 1 day old!

Emma on her 1st birthday

Emma at 2 at the beach

Emma at 3 at babyland general hospital (the home of the cabbage patch kid)

Emma at 4 (ok, well almost!) I haven't actually taken a picture of her at 4!lol

Today is Emma's birthday! It is SO hard to believe that she is 4!!! My friend Brandy posted some pictures of her son on his birthday one from each yr and I thought it was really cute, so I'm going to copy and do the same!....My baby isn't a baby anymore! :( She is all grown up!...well, working on it! If you look at the pictures, she didn't look like she changed much between 2 and 3...but in this last year, she has changed SO much. Not just in how she looks, but in personality too. She for so long was painfully shy, not wanting to talk to any one, especially adults! Not anymore, she is doing SO much better. We went to Monkey Joe's today for her birthday and she even told the owner that today was her birthday and wasn't shy about it...told him she was 4 and everything...now to some that may not sound like a big deal, but if you have known my daughter any time at all, you know that is BIG for her. We have a girlie, girl party planned, but it's not for 2 more weeks....don't ask why...it's a long story! But we did some special things over the last 2 days to "hold us over" til her "real" party. We went to Mimi and Granddaddy's last night for pizza and a beautiful ballet ice cream cake....where they went ahead and gave her her gift...a "big girl" bike! Which she mastered riding today. Gran gave her a barbie car, which Ian likes as much as she does....boys and cars!lol...but for now, that is all the presents she will get. Her party will be here soon enough, but I know she will enjoy having the bike now, and Mimi just had knee replacement and isn't sure if she will be able to join us for the party in a few weeks...so we had a "little" party last night. Today we picked up Aunt Sammy (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO SAM!...I've already given you a best present ever...a niece...I can't top that LOL) and Savannah and met my friend Susan and her three at Monkey Joe's. This was our first time going to MJ's and boy was it an experience! Let's just say that the kids had a blast!....but us mommy's, well, it was a little stressful! There was SO many people....and a HUGE day camp was there...it was WILD. I talked to the manager as we were leaving and he assured me that this was the last Wednesday that there would be any daycamps there for the rest of the summer....and when he found out it was Emma's birthday he gave her and Savannah MJ t-shirts and tickets to come back....Ian missed out, he was asleep in the stroller!...sorry, buddy, you should stay awake and not miss the action!....come to think of it...no, sleep, I'll buy you a shirt next time we go! LOL. Ian played himself silly...he asked to get in his stroller and for his teddy and laid there until he went to sleep. So Emma and Savannah got a little extra play time b/c he went to sleep! We had a great day, Emma had alot of fun, and still has her party to look forward to. She has requested a ballet theme...w/ pink and purple (of course!)...so I have a friend coming who is a ballet teacher and she is going to dance w/ the girls and I have ordered tutus and tiaras and wands for everyone...it's going to be a pink and purple wonderland and alot of fun! I have had SO much fun planning her party...Susan, I'm ready to start that business we keep talking about!lol...well maybe after Eli get's here and settled, until then I'll just enjoy Emma's party!...well, I'm off here and back to the canner..it's almost done, and I'm headed to bed!...it's been a TIRING day!

What do you consider rough?

I find myself being asked on occasion "Has this pregnancy been rough?" That is such a hard question to answer for me. I think rough is relevant....it depends on the person and their concept of rough! For me, this pregnancy has been a breeze...it's been a little harder lately as some things are starting to act up in my body as my body seems to be starting to say...."are we about done yet?" But still, it's been me having to be willing to adjust my life style, and schedule, and be willing to not overdo it so that I don't make myself sick....I am just not sure I call that "rough" but some might, some have a hard time not getting sleep, again, I feel use to that. Even after Ian was sleeping through the night...which took him a good while, Emma was getting up every night for like 6 months...it didn't matter what trick I tried, she would get up every night and come into our room...eventually I was able to get her to go back to bed on her own and I didn't have to get up...but I got up every night for over a year by the time I got Ian sleeping through the night and then her sleeping through the night AGAIN!...so not sleeping isn't a big deal for me...I've done it before! I also think that rough is what you have to compare it to....rough to me seems to be extremes. Rough is Alex w/ three broken limbs, Emma 15 months old, and me 7 months pregnant w/ a tilted pelvic! How I feel right now can't even compare to what I have already walked through. I find myself explaining that to people who don't know me...or haven't known me long. I can't even complain to the dr's about anything....I think my mom is about ready to go w/ me to the dr's on Tuesday so she can question some things she is worried about. But I am going to express some concerns I am having that have come up in the last week or so. I am sure everything is fine, but I do want to be safe, not sorry later! Alex has been SO GREAT these last few weeks...he has really picked up the slack helping out when I don't feel good, or when I am hurting....I think he missed being able to take care of me w/ Ian...I feel like he is trying to play catch up all in one week. He has been great....but I am getting spoiled...lol! Well, this has been a random blog...I have a busy week coming up, garden tomorrow, dr's visit and 3d ultrasound on Tuesday, Emma's birthday on Wednesday....that's just the next few days...I am not even looking at the end of the week yet!lol! I'll be back when I can!

It will always be his birthday...

Just because he isn't here to celebrate it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Happy Birthday Daddy. As always I miss you like crazy and wish I could talk to you...so much. Mom the kids and I were in Albemarle yesterday, it was such a fun trip to see some friends and eat at the Rosebriar. I haven't seen Erin and her mom in a long time, Erin and I grew up together and were always in and out of each others houses...her dad was a school teacher in Locust and would take me home w/ him to spend the night w/ Erin alot when we were young....you know sometimes I really do miss those days. Erin and I have another thing in common, we both lost our dad's within a few months of each other...Chuckie died in March and dad died in May. I so clearly remember his funeral, we sat in the very back...and what I remember most is thinking, that I hoped God would give me the same amount of peace I saw in Erin when I was my turn to make that same walk...you know the one behind the casket. I knew it wouldn't be long before I was where she was....although I begged God to change those circumstances for me...in my heart I knew the answer He had given to me....that funeral was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced in my life...Chuckie's and dad's.

Every year on dad's birthday(or the weekend nearest) we would go and spend the day with some friends at there parents pool. Dad and Dave (Leigh and Shannon's dad) shared a birthday...and I'm not sure when it even started, but for quiet a few years it was an event always to be looked forward to. There was always food, and volleyball and the pool and FUN. It's still hard for me that today is such a normal "not much going on" kinda day...well, I think I have run out of words....or energy, so I will end w/ this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE....AND DADDY!