Happy Birthday Ian!

Today my baby is TWO....I can't believe it! We are headed out to breakfast w/ Mom and Gary this morning...which is sorta a joke, b/c the morning that I was induced w/ Ian, we had been out to breakfast and then mom and I went to my dr.'s appointment and left Emma w/ Gary...as we left he asked me, what do I feed her for lunch in case you don't come back...I told him not to worry I had to come back I didn't even have a bag packed!~...lol...well, I didn't come back, I went straight from the drs office to the L&D in the hospital! So now we go to breakfast every year on Ian's birthday~
Here are some of my favorite pics of Ian from the last 2 years!....I can't believe he is so big!


this is the afternoon Ian was born!


This is 3 months


this is from last week!...my big boy!


I promise I'll come back and add some more pictures later, but for now I have to go, or breakfast will be lunch!

8 weeks and 4 days!

Ok so far this pregnancy has been very very different than my other two. With Emma I was sick from about 7 weeks til 12 weeks every night, i didn't throw up, but always wanted to...it was worse if I wasn't doing something so I tried to stay busy!....With Ian, I had no morning sickness at all, to which Anna swore was because I was on the hallelujah diet...and that could of been true...or it could of been b/c it was a boy instead of a girl....who knows.

Well, with this one, I was sick at 5 weeks....throw up a few times and now I seem to be some better, more back to only being sick at night and not all the time. But this time, the more I do, the more sick I feel, which makes me resort to the couch and not want to move again until bedtime!...I can't even read my bible study w/o feeling like I want to throw up!...hmmm

I want to start the family back on the H diet, but I can't bare the thought eating only salads for lunch!...lol...I want to, but my stomach is like "NO, I DON'T THINK SO!"...what to do, what to do.....I find myself wanting to drink like a qt of milk a day...something I don't normally drink at all....also, I am eating peanut butter way more than I ever did before I got pregnant....so at the rate I'm going...I'm going to gain my 25 lbs in the first 3 months!...lol...!

anyone got some advice for this sick prego that really doesn't want to gain to much weigh, but feels like the only thing she can eat is peanut butter and french fries!

tune in for Tuesday~

for some unknown reason I seem to find myself at the computer on Tuesday afternoons....I'm not sure why that is, I have a million other things I could be doing...but here I sit anyway!...I am tired, but I guess because I don't have time for a nap, this is as close to "down time" as I am going to get!

last night we had FPU and in our lesson Dave somehow got on the subject of crawldads...I thought my brother and I were going to hoot! Just the word brought back so many memories, but specially one....I was probably about 12 or so and Nick would of been about 15 and a friend of his Jeff and Nick and I went off through the wood on our farm...and before we were back home they guys decided that they were going to catch and cook (over a fire we made) and eat some crawldads!....no dare would get me to join in on that one! But I totally enjoyed watching them do it! LOL...so we went down to the creek, caught us some crawlers...I did help catch them... and then they cooked them and had their taste!...all I can say is throw up!! lol...

how often do you sit and think about your life as a kid? I mean really, I just realized that I have not done that very often...this past Sunday night at small group we were talking about "generations" and some of the differences...and whenever I am around a conversation about growing up I realize how differently I grew up than most people I am around....I spent my summers stringing green beans w/ friends and watching movies!...the guys had to snap and the girls string!...remember that Brandy!....all the movies we would rent to do beans too!...I spent alot of time w/ friends working on our turkey farm, they would come and help wash drinkers....only Brandy will know what that even means probably!...and the spiders! YUCK! not to mention when we moved turkeys...yes, move them, from one house to another, one truck (dump truck) at a time...lol....so funny! Shannon how did you enjoy your one week on our farm w/ Shaun while we went on vacation one year?....you were like the turkey sitter! lol! but all that to say, I don't think much about my growing up years, I don't know why, maybe b/c it's to hard to think about that life w/ daddy, it's to hard still to think of all I left behind when he died and I got married. Now don't get me wrong, I love the life I have, my husband and my kids, I wouldn't trade them for anything, it does strike me weird sometimes how separate my life now is from my life then....and that makes me sorta sad. It is sad to me that when I read Leigh's blog...I can't even remember the last time I saw her....or even more so her sister Shannon...I have never even met her twins who are now 4!...and to think we used to be in a band(sorta...what was it called?) together! lol...w/ Christian, Kelly, Shaun, Karen and Nick....was there anyone else when we first started?...lol...remember when they made us play at the NCHE...horrible! lol! Hard to remember stuff sometimes...do you ever feel that way? That you have this former life that you have forgotten about? That you are so different now that you feel like those people don't even know you anymore...or wouldn't know what to do w/ you now?...I'm not saying that they wouldn't like me, but I think they would say...wow, she's changed....and I think it would in a good way, not a bad...but there again, if they saw me last year, it might not of been such a good thing....maybe all this rambling is to say that I think I just realize that in the last year I have really grown up!...ALOT!....but then somethings never change, I will spend this summer picking beans and canning....that is one thing I still do every summer, and I love it...I am always looking for someone to help out w/ it...but I must admit it's slightly different now w/ kids then when we were teenagers! lol.... and I think I will be going back to the NCHE this year just to check it out...Emma has one more year before we start school, but I need to decide soon if I'm going to homeschool her or not....again, one of those things I know nothing about...public school and how it works...never been there, but I keep asking myself why would I not want to give Emma everything I had in school!...I did love being homeschooled, why would I not do it for her....am I still that afraid of being "different" that I would put her in school just to "fit in"....? NO not anymore, so why do I even question homeschooling or not? I'm not sure, but I do....

sorry I know that was a bunch of rambling...but that's my brain right now....slightly jumbled right now!....now you know for sure I am crazy...oh, last thing, any of you homeschool mom's want to go w/ me to the NCHE and make it a girls weekend?....

oh and to my Stanly county girls...and Leigh that still includes you....I LOVE reading your blogs and getting glimpses into your lives!...I love blogging just for that...tell your families I said hi and that I miss them! You guys remind we of my roots...something I am very proud of now!...thank you!

lazy afternoon~...lol...yeah right!

So, I have been "trying" to take it easy this afternoon....and right now I am sitting on the couch w/ my feet up on the coffee table (who of ya'll even knew I had a coffee table now..lol..I'm moving up in the world.) so I have my feet up and I'm on the computer...Emma is also on the couch w/ her computer...Ian is "helping" Emma work her computer, he has positioned himself between me and Emma....Emma is now frustrated w/ Ian and has told him to help mommy instead!...LOL..thanks Emma! So now here we sit, w/ Ian saying over and over and over...help Mommy, help Mommy, HELP mommy!...he has his pointer finger out and ready...lol! He cracks me up!...
Emma on the other hand just asked me where the "Y" was...then she says "E" "Y"...that's the name of the baby!....cute, she thinks EY is one of the baby names we like(it's actually Eli), but in her mind I guess it's EY...update, Emma has now taken her computer to the floor in effort to get away from Ian, who has just followed her saying "ewn elp, ewn elp!"(Ian help)....she is trying so hard to just ignore him!...he keeps pressing the off button, just like a brother, to see how much he can annoy her!...soon she will have a desk in her room, so she can put it up there and get it away from him! Now Ian is just saying...no ush buttn....over and over! HAHA, that won't last long!...and when Emma doesn't know an answer she asked Ian to answer! lol! they are so funny! I needed a good laugh this afternoon, I just didn't know all I needed to was to sit on my couch and watch my kids....Emma just told Ian to "stop talking she is working" lol!
I better go and rescue my kids from each other!, just thought you might like a peek into the conversation around our house!! LOL

yuck!~~~throw-up!

where oh where have I gone....I know that is what most of you are thinking!....lol...WELL...this baby is kicking my butt! I have been so sick w/ this one...I now realize how spoiled I have been up til this point! With Ian I wasn't sick at all....I guess this is pay back! SO if I have any spare time I am spending it sleeping!....that doesn't leave much time for blogging...

I hate that too....b/c I have had stuff going on that I have wanted to sit down and blog about...things I am learning.

So as quick as I can....what's been going on in my world....we had an awesome day on Sunday...our church had it's 2 yr anniversary. We had baptism in the afternoon, then Alex and I got to spend some time together shopping and dinner...then we went back for a night of praise and worship....at which I got sick!(at least I like to sit in the back)...but not fun excusing myself from Alex and Kim to go loose my cookies!....lovely...and I was volunteering..and as soon as I came out of the bathroom I had "duties" waiting!lol...atleast I KNOW it was "morning sickness" and not a germ!....anyway, as much as Satan tried several attempts to steal my joy....it didn't work! I loved every minute of the day!

Monday night we had our FPU class....we are taking it again as support for our family that is taking it!....I so enjoy Dave and his concepts so much! I so love the encouragement I receive from him....and they have re-done the DVD's since we took it the first time and it's fun hearing new things!....so one thing he said this week was....happiness was like the bully in the school yard. It will always move the "line to be crossed" Then he used the analogy of kids as an example....I'll be happy when I have kids...I'll be happy when this baby sleeps through the night, I'll be happy when we don't have to do diapers anymore, I'll be happy when they go to school....I'll be happy when we have 2 kids....I'll be happy when they aren't toddlers anymore.....and so on...I think you get the idea! WOW...as a mother of preschoolers, I needed to be reminded that my happiness doesn't rely in "stuff"...not even in my kids! Now I have never been the mom to wish my kids lifes away....in fact I'm the mom who dreads the idea of sending my kids to school...and won't put them in preschool b/c I don't want to be away from them that long...go ahead and insert your judgment here!..but I do know that sometimes I think of how much "easier" it will be when my kids are older! But on Monday God quietly reminded me that I need to focus on the now....and on contentment through Him alone...not in stuff, not in friends, not in status, and not in the things to come....so that's that for Monday!...oh and I did not throw up on Monday!...thank you Jesus, even for small answered prayers!

Today!...I had BSF...have I told ya'll how much I LOVE BSF? LOL....oh I have..only once or twice right!? lol....I am so excited over the foundation that BSF is giving me...I love it...and I love learning about Jesus....He is more awesome to me now than ever before! I truly wish that every person I know could come to BSF.....if I could only convey half of what I am learning you would be signing up tomorrow....but I don't even know how to give it justice....their is so much to grasp....
In our lecture each week our teaching leader gives 3 main principles and if I could just take those alone to heart then I would be doing excellcent! This weeks 3 principles were 1. God has given enough signs to establish that Jesus is Messiah. 2.The truth of Jesus Christ comes from God. 3.Following Jesus Christ involves sacrifice now, glory later. Now w/o all the studying we did through the week from Matthew 16 and the questions we were asked in our study you will have a hard time understanding what those mean....but the 1st comes from the Pharisees and the Sadducees asking Jesus for a sign from heaven...which Jesus refused to give....the 2nd comes from Peters admission that Jesus is the Christ the son of the living God...and the fact that all our understanding about Christ is given to us from God through the Holy Spirit, and that is why unbelievers can't understand our commitments and values. and the last one comes from the end of Matthew 16 where the verse challenges us to take up our cross and follow Him and the true meaning of that and how we try to make that idea fit what we want and not what Christ wants for us...that we have to be willing to die for Christ to truly follow Him....are you willing to do that? To literally give up everything?....hard and convicting! I love how full I feel when I leave BSF...I have enough to chew on for a long time...before I'm done chewing, it's time to go back and chew some more. I have to admit, there have been some situations in my life over the last few days that I have been struggling w/...but I now realize that chewing on those things and not the things that Christ would want me to chew on....well, that's just wrong. Especially when I'm not the problem or the answer to those other issues!...I am now going to choose to chew on what I learned today and how I can apply it best to my life...what is Jesus meaning for me to learn today!?
I hope to be back blogging a little more....but I'll just have to see!
love to all!
oh...and so far...no throw-up today!....yeah! THANK YOU JESUS!...and Susan, I have my head on a little better today! lol!

a hidden blessing

So a few post back I said I would tell about Emma and all the questions she had from "Grandpa Eddie going to see Jesus" Well, I am sitting here watching the Super Bowl and playing on the computer(so not watching the TV so much!) and I was thinking about Emma and all her questions...well everything she has taken in over the last few weeks! So...I am sitting here amazed at her thoughts, her detailed thinking...here is some of the conversations...let me set it up first. We waited until we knew for sure that Eddie would be passing away (he chose to discontinue his treatment)...then we went to Emma and told her that Grandpa Eddie was very sick, not like she or Ian get sick, but a different sick and that he was going to be going to see Jesus soon. We coupled that announcement w/ a book that Alex read to her (what happens when we die by Carolyn Nordstrom) and awesome book that explains death very well...it talks about being sad and missing the person, about burying them and about going to heaven if you believe in Jesus...it talks about heaven and how wonderful it is...that it is better than your birthday or Christmas morning! So that was step one and she didn't ask many questions at that time...only if "Gran" (Alex's mom) was going to be lonely. We told her she would be sad and that we would need to give her extra special hugs. Later that night before bedtime, Emma and I had another talk about it...we talked about who she knew how was already in heaven (Aunt Kelly's dad and PawPaw Ken) we talked about Jesus and how much He cares when we are sad and I asked her if she would be sad...she said no :)...but that Gran, Mimi and Granddaddy would be.
A few days later we were going by Cathy and Eddie's house and on the way she asked me if Grandpa Eddie was in heaven yet and I told her no, not yet...she wanted to know how he was going to get there...I told her that Jesus would take him...and then she asked.."BUT HOW WILL THEY GET THERE?" Her AWANA verse for the week was "The word of the Lord is right" so I asked her what the word of the Lord was....she said....the bible....and I asked who the Lord was....she said...God/Jesus....and then I told her that the words in the bible were to us, from God, and that the bible tells us that if we believe in Jesus, that when we die we will go to heaven, that I didn't know how we would actually get there, but I knew we would, b/c the word of the Lord is right! She excepted that answer! WHEW~ Next, we had to tell her that Grandpa Eddie had gone to see Jesus, her response was "oh, that's wonderful, he's all better now?" I wanted to sit down and cry at her child-like faith, she only saw the process as a good thing, not a bad thing! She and Ian stayed at my mom's the next few days, at one time she asked my mom "Do little children go to heaven?"(again, amazed at how much she thought this through) Mom told her that sometimes little children do go to heaven, but most of the time little children grow into really old people before they go to heaven!...I must admit, I'm glad mom got that question and not me! lol! call me chicken! On the morning of the funeral I had to drop Alex off at the funeral home early and then take the kids to Susan, who was watching them while we were at the funeral and there was a grave yard across the street (the one Eddie is now buried in)...again the questions started...the first was "mommy, what's that place w/ all the pretty flowers?" and I told her it was a special place where people who had died were buried...she asked if Grandpa Eddie was going to be buried there...I said yes, she wanted to know if that was where Daddy and I and Gran were going that day...I said yes, she wanted to know if Jesus was going to be there! I told her yes, and I could see in her eyes she was thinking...(if Jesus is going to be there I don't want to miss this!) She asked if we would be able to see him, I told her no, but that He would be there b/c he lived in my heart and her daddy's heart, and in Gran's heart and PaPa (Gary) and Grammy (mom) hearts and that Jesus would be there b/c He was there w/ us. She wanted to know how to see Jesus...I told her we could see Him through the way that people acted, if Jesus lived in someone's heart, then He should shine through!~(convicting myself in the process I might add!) to that she said "Sometimes I do bad things....I tell Jesus I'm sorry when I disobey" I told her that everyone does bad things, because we are all sinners....and that is why God sent His Son to die for us...to which she piped in..."on the cross" I went on to tell her that b/c Jesus died on the cross for us that we could ask Jesus to come live in our heart, that we needed to know that we sin and that we do bad things and that only Jesus can forgive us for our sin! Her response was that "she needed to do that soon" I knew this meant she was going to think about all of this information.
About a week later, she came back to me and out of the blue she told me, "I asked Jesus into my heart"...when I questioned her she said she didn't say much, but I know she was been thinking...I haven't pushed her, I know she is young, and I will wait for God to open the door to talk about it again. I know that at 3 1/2 she only has a little understanding, but I also know that she in her own way has an awesome faith in God and Jesus. This whole issue started as an introduction to death, but it turned into an awesome chance to present her w/ the living truth!...it has been awesome! and exciting!

opps we did it again!...lol!

Ok so this time, unlike w/ Ian, there was no oops about it! But yes we are going to have another baby! As many of you know we have been "trying" for a while, and we found out last Tuesday that all our hard work :) paid off!

It looks like our addition to the family will come in the fall...my due date is September 30th (my mom's birthday!)....but as most of you know as well....I don't tend to have my babies on their due date...but rather weeks later! haha...so hopefully we'll have another baby before Halloween! LOL! So the fun has begun of trying to guess what it is....another girl, or another boy! I have always "known" and so far always been right!...I fear trying to guess again, as a friend of mine, Dawn, was just like me and got it right the first two times, but then w/ her third...thought it was a girl, and found out it was a boy....I just don't know if I can be right a third time!

So here is what I think...I want it to be a boy, b/c I think it will be easier to put a boy in w/ Ian, than a girl in w/ Emma, but my heart...gut...whatever you want to call it, says it's a girl!...so I guess we'll see....I have actually thought about not finding out this time!...lol...again, no promises! but why do I need to know this time? I most likely won't be putting it in either room for a good while, so what's the hurry in knowing?...and that way I won't get a lot of clothes that it won't ever wear!...lol....not to mention we won't have room for many clothes anyway!

So pray for us when you think to, I am not feeling so good, and I have 3 little ones to chase!....we are starting to think about moving, and I get stressed just thinking about it....if you know of a good deal on a house, let us know! Also I am taking Ian back to the allergist today, he is not doing to good either, so I hope to get some answers today!