Time flies when you are having fun....that's the saying anyway! Around here it seems to be time flies when your sick!....although the days seem SO long sometimes! I turn around and it's been three weeks since I have blogged anything...I know I said it would be few and farther in between...but gosh, I didn't mean non-existent! These last few weeks have been rather strange for me. Both the boys have been sick...Eli twice now, Ian is struggling w/ allergies AGAIN...this weather is killing him! We haven't made it to AWANA in a full month now....nice. I had to give up BSF, b/c Eli won't take a bottle and it's way to hard to expect Gary to keep him when I know he will give him a fit. Alex and I did go out w/ Todd and Susan last Friday night and Eli had to suffer through, but for some reason I can do that w/ mom keeping him and not feel bad. We had a great time out!....camping here we come!....right Todd! :) But other than that, Eli is really attached at the hip right now, which I really don't mind to much! When he first stop taking the bottle I felt very trapped, but then I realized that he will be a big boy before I'm ready so I might as well enjoy this time and not be stressed that it's not going the way I want!
Do you ever wonder what's around the corner? I very much feel like that right now...every time I turn around I wonder why God is requiring this or that from me...I feel like I'm being stretched.....alot....right now. I don't consider this a bad thing, in fact I know from experience this is a good thing...a very good thing. I also find it hard and exhausting at the same time. I know that God has given me a very specific purpose right now, and this stretching fits into that plan...so why do I sometimes struggle to except the change that's coming? It's the weirdest thing, I want the changes...even need the changes....yet the changes make me want to cry all at the same time! Alex and I have moved to the uptown campus of Elevation to be able to serve and help out w/ starting Ekidz we also moved community groups and changed what service we are attending ourselves. I gave up BSF, and we haven't be able to be at AWANA in a few weeks....nothing from my normal schedule still remains. We finish up our FPU class next week and then that will be over too. I am interested to see what God is planning...he has completely cleared my schedule...the question is what for? I have been spending some time w/ other homeschool moms, and they have helped me see some of why my schedule is clearing...it's just I hadn't planned to clear it 7 months b/f we started school....hmmm! It's in His hands, I know I have to be careful what I choose to put into my schedule from here forward, b/c my primary focus will be shifting to my kids educations. I know this isn't the first time God has cleared my schedule, He did this a couple of summers ago and it ended up being one of the most fulfilling times of my life...a wonderful time of growth, b/c I wasn't to busy to hear from him. I know I need to be sure I slow down and not miss what it is He's bring my way! My prayer is to know Him more fully everyday, and the only way I can do that is by slowing down to listen to what He's telling me....pray for me as I start this new adventure He has waiting for me....pray that I can see what it is soon! :)
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2 comments:
beth~even with all of the change and uncertainty i encourage you to enjoy the extra time while you seek what God wants from you. i think that you will experience some awesome things from this time. even if the sole purpose is to get you prepared for the big step you are taking in the fall. God is preparing you. enjoy the stillness. i have been where you are and somewhat still am and i have really truly enjoyed the changes, some have been hard. but God has stretched me after he had me clear off my full plate. and He certainly is preparing me for what lies ahead.
i am encouraged by your mindset to not be stressed about eli not taking a bottle - enjoy every second of your little guy!!!
Hang in there. Sometimes when the kids are all small everything seems elevated.... you know, our emotions and all that stuff. But you are correct in that, before you know it, Eli will be a toddler and the other two will be older, and you will look back and realize that these days are "short" in the grand scheme of things. Maybe God is telling you to slow down a bit with the schedule, it is okay to have down time. You are much braver than me with the home schooling stuff. I knew that it would be too much, with the twins, for me to handle. But with Kindergarten registration around the corner, I find myself anxious about the whole situation. Praying for the kids to get well soon!
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