my world as I see it....

for a while now, I have struggled to get personal in my post...mostly because I have felt so bad and I didn't really want anyone to know EXACTLY what I was thinking!...lol...call me crazy, but sometimes I think some things are better left unsaid...especially to the whole world! Some might want to call that being fake, but I don't, I call that being smart and knowing when to hold your tongue!lol. Well one thing I am SO GLAD to report is that I am feeling MUCH better, the first tri is over and I am feeling human again!...I am remembering that I do love being pregnant and why...I am excited that I am only a month or so away from finding out what we are having....Emma is already planning the shopping trip after that!lol. I am back to enjoying 3 kids during the day instead of barely surviving!....thank you Jesus, for the fact that I have some energy to keep up w/ these kids!


So hear is what I have learned over the last few weeks/month. That whenever you think you get a handle on something, beware...Satan only wants you to think that, so when he stripes it away it will sting that much more! I thought I was doing so well, w/ my bible study...I loved every minute of it....but the more confidence I gained....well, being sick made it next to impossible for me to do it...I would sit down to study, and instead I would be so distracted by feeling sick...or I would literally fall asleep!..I got so discouraged and frustrated, I got to the point that I didn't even want to try! Never think you have it all together, there is always room for improvement!lol!

This past Sunday, our worship pastor sang "Are you who you want to be" by switchfoot" I love this song and have for a long time! But once again it reminded me to look at my life and see....?am I who I want to be? It reminded me of what I know God has called me to be...who HE wants me to be. You know, I think that is easy to forget, to let others influence "who I'm suppose to be" for you...it can be so easy to play the matching game...to see how you "match up" to others around you. To say, well at least I don't do it that way! Don't tell me you haven't done that, we all do it one way or another. But that is wrong, it doesn't matter how someone else has done it, it matters how God wants YOU to do it. I think being pregnant you deal w/ this alot...it amazes me how many people want to tell you how THEY did it...or how many people ask if I did it naturally or w/ drugs. and the stigma that comes with the question. I have already walked away from a few conversations where I was like, ok, what were they getting at, so they had a "natural" birth, maybe if I had had their birth I would have done it natural too, but I didn't have their birth, I had mine, and mine wasn't theirs...so do you see what I am getting at! Sorry I know I got off on a little rabbit trail, but it's what I think...how I see it in my world. What a better place we would all live in if we...especially we women....could just stop comparing and playing to "match up" game!....hmmm, the thought...to just let everyone do as they are being lead to do, especially for Christians, we are all being lead by God (and if we aren't, isn't that really between them and God) so we are all being lead by God, so what right so I have to judge her over ANYTHING...? I don't!

sorry I left everyone hanging~

I just wanted to let everyone know that my grandfather is doing great, he is home from the hospital, he will have surgery in the next few weeks...but they expect that to go very well!....thank you for the prayer!

Sorry I didn't let ya'll know before now!

pray....

pray please for my grandfather, he is in the hospital and will be for a while, there are quite a few things going on...some they think they know what they are and others they are still not sure about. Pray that the drs will find out the sources of the problems. Pray that my grandmother will have strength through this....I know this is hard for her. Pray that Nick will be able to still focus on school, I know he to is also very worried.

Nick and I both have developed such a sweet relationship w/ our dad's parents over the last few years. They are the only grandparents we have left and since dad died they have been such a comfortable place for us to run too....all of the kids LOVE them, Ian is MawMaw's boy and if you even say PawPaw Helms to Savannah, she will CRY until you take her to see him...so cute. I told mom yesterday(who is in Ohio right now) that I can't handle the thought of anything happening to him right now....I am tired of death...weary of it....please Lord don't require it of me.

Thanks for your prayers, I know y'all will do it!

yes I SHOULD be cleaning!

So I think we have all had one or two of these post...the one that you don't want your husband to read the title!...lol...for right now there is about 10 other things I could be doing...but instead, I am relaxing in my favorite chair, watching "the baby story" lol and typing...oh and all the while talking w/ Emma too!lol...what a multi-tasker I am! Savannah and Ian are still napping..for a few more minutes. We have had a busy day, we went grocery shopping this morning and then out to lunch w/ mom. This afternoon had been slower, and I haven't had a chance to nap, bummer! But I am enjoying just sitting for a while!

So what all has been up w/ us over the weekend...lot's of fun stuff...Friday we went out and brought a camcorder! YEAH! I am so excited about this, call us old fashion, but we are just now stepping into the camcorder world...those of you who know Alex and I well know that we don't/won't buy things we can't afford, and that we sometimes wait...a long time...to get things that we really really want...the pay-off being how much more we enjoy it along w/ IT'S PAID FOR! Also think of it this way...the 3rd baby will have something the other 2 didn't get! lol! SO I am excited to say the least...and once again, Alex and his cash bargaining got us a great deal...the camcorder was listed on sale for $449.99 and he got it for 319.00...way to go Alex!lol!

After we went out for sushi...my favorite!...don't worry I only eat steamed sushi....and had a wonderful dinner....yummy,I'm going to make myself want some more!

Also my juicer that a friend ordered for me came and I am VERY EXCITED about that too...no more store brought juice for my kids....a good start to some lifestyle changes I am trying for Ian and his allergies!....

So lots of exciting stuff around here!...I am looking forward to a great week, excited about BFS tomorrow. Ian has a drs appointment on Wednesday w/ his allergist which I think will go well...Ian has been doing so well.

well, I'm going to get to work doing something useful now!lol...maybe I'll go and juice something and videotape it for y'all to see!lol! j/k!
later

where oh where have I been?

I am sorry I have been so slack about blogging, but as I said before I am now spending my "extra time"...lol, if there is such a thing!....sleeping. I had a drs appointment yesterday and they did blood work so I am interested to see what my iron level looks like. Of course the dr reminded me that being pregnant and having 2 already is very different from bring pregnant and watching only one!....TRUE!...so I need to give myself a break and not try to be supermom....of course I wanted to laugh and ask if he knew who he was talking to....let things go, is he crazy!lol...of course he cracked me up and asked me if he needed to write me a prescription for a nap a day?...I asked if we could make it a nap a day AND no housework!lol...he said that sounded good for him, now if I could just convince Alex that those are the new rules around here!

So for what had been going on in our world since Ian's birthday...Ian had a well visit, and now weighs 26 lbs....Emma 25!...so little brother has now past big sister! Ian is growing well, he is still in the 15% for height and weight...so not a big boy, but still ALL boy...the dr was impressed w/ his talking...he asked if Ian put words together and as soon as the question came out of his mouth Ian looked up and said, "I wanta read book!...pleaseeeee!" It was so funny, and the look on the drs face!...he as like...well, I guess that answers that question!lol." Of course Emma was excited to tell the dr that we are going to have a baby!....I think the dr was more excited to see Emma actually talk to him ALOT! He commented on how grow up she is now and more comfortable w/ talking...and of course she answered all of Ian's questions for him...lol...it's so funny when kids do that. But like the dr said, Ian does his fair share of talking too!....so that's about all I can say about that!

Ian's parties both went great! Thanks to Susan helping out w/ the morning one, since I was struggling to keep my cupcake down!lol...gotta love morning sickness!~and he has more toys now than he knows what to do with! It is so good for the second to get his own moments! I was struggling w/ the "why worry about a party" I didn't really feel like doing it, or putting energy into it, but I am glad I did...he needs his moments too!
He was too cute at the family party on Friday night...after every present, I would tell him who it was from and then have him tell them thank you!...he would say "tank ewe, an onna (aunt Donna)" or who ever it was from, he always added there name...my sweet sweet boy!...talk about being a proud mommy!...he tried so hard to pronounce everyone's names...and if he wasn't sure, he would look at me and want me to say it again so he could learn it!...I love that he is so willing to try, even if it comes out wrong...Emma never tries anything until she has it perfect, but Ian will try ANYTHING...I love their personality differences!

So we hung low over the weekend, Alex was fighting a cold as was Emma, so we didn't go to church, we figured the 4th grade parents would appreciate if Alex didn't get their kids sick!...and both the kids were tired from a busy couple of days! I hate when we miss church though, Emma always ask all week when we are going to go to Elevation and she was upset when we didn't go!

Monday and Tuesday were great days...pretty normal, did some grocery shopping on Monday w/ Susan, we started shopping more at Sam's and splitting stuff...cheaper, yet not so much food you can't eat it all before it goes bad!...I'm loving that...it's a work in progress though, with some fine tuning needed! Tuesday was BFS, and it was Ian's first week, he did great! I was so excited, they just opened a "baby twos" class and it's perfect for him...one of his teachers is a good friend of mine, and she is awesome w/ them, so I am completely content w/ him in there...he was so cute when I dropped him off...he wanted to cry, and his lip was quivering...but Savannah marched herself right in the door like a pro and was excited to see her teachers and I could see his wheels turning...he was so thinking..."if she can do it, so can I"...that's momma's boy! already competitive!lol! Once he was in there, he did wonderful, Bionca told me he did very well...I am so excited!
Tuesday night I went to dinner w/ a friend from high school, I always feel so guilty when I do that, now don't get me wrong, I LOVED getting to catch up w/ her,we get together every couple of months, but I so want to see other "old"friends too, but I don't get the chance...and I was right there in Locust...it made me feel a little guilty...sorry y'all, I want to see you...let's plan something!

ok,...so that is enough rambling from me for one day!