Last night, Alex and I went to a special night that Elevation does quarterly....a night that they just decided to call "presence" a night that is similar to our Sunday mornings, yet different too.....but all GREAT! SOOO....the pastor's wife spoke for a moment and she said exactly what has been in my heart for the last few days....WHAT A YEAR THIS HAS BEEN. I look back over the last few months....well 12 months and I think wow....look how different! I know speaking for me personally, not much remains the same....I feel like a totally different person now than I was a year ago! and I am so excited to report that....that is a GOOD, no GREAT thing! I know I have come so far in learning who I am, who God wants me to be, I am content w/ my life, I love that I don't have to be in charge of it...no one here on this earth is in charge of my life....my Father in Heaven shows me, who I am, what I am and what I am going to be doing! I love the simplicity of that whole idea. I don't have to worry about it, I'm not suppose to. God is in control of it, He decides what it looks like for me! I know that I still struggle w/ this concept sometimes, but I know that He is working in me and I am still learning! He is teaching me not to worry about what's next, just to trust HIM! As I leave this year behind, I know it will be a year I will never forget...a year of triump, failure, hurt, rejoicing, crying, learning, forgiving, loving, living and above all surrendering to God. I am leaning forward excitedly toward the new year, I am eagerly waiting to see what God has planned for my family next! I know that it will be exciting and I'm sure a new learning experience! LOL! :) Last night I was challenged in a indirect way to let go of MY expectations, and walk into the new year only thinking of God's plans and expectations...this is something that is hard, especially in one area of my life...that area being the fact that I...note the I...had planned to be pregnant by now, but that hasn't been God's plan, at least not yet... But I know that God has asked me to let go of the situation and let Him be in control....it's not up to me...it's up to Him and Him alone!...not that I won't be trying my heart out and loving every minute! lol! But I guess all in all this is the last thing of the year that God has asked me to surrender to Him FULLY. Funny how things work out, I know that in the last year He has asked me to surrender everything...slowly, over time, first my marriage, then my church, then my lack of self-confidence, then my friendships, then my kids, then my expectations of my life/world/kids/husband...expectations in general that were wrong, now my desires for another baby....How great is our God that He even knew what I could handle when, He never ever gave me more than I could handle....He kept showing me His desire for ME, as I could handle them!
Thank you Jesus for showing me my need to change, for letting me learn at my pace, for leading me through my "growth." For showing me that when I give it over to you that YOU alone have to power to make it SO much better than before...in everything there is to deal w/ in life! I love you Jesus! I trust you Jesus! As Emma always tells me (thanks to Elevation) GOD KNOWS WHAT'S BEST! I am choosing to walk into the new year clinging to that fact!
My prayer will be that God in His infinite wisdom and power will bring to you exactly what you need in the next year to come...hold on tightly, He is awesome! Remember you are loved!
Happy New Year!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
backed in a corner!
So if you haven't noticed, it has been a while since I blogged....lol....well, that is because I sorta backed my self in a corner...not sorta, I did! LOL. I told the world that I would post on "Christian character" LOL....I know, that was dumb! But it was already out there!....I didn't want to take it back. BUT here is the problem, 1st. I knew the blog would take a good amount of time...which doesn't seem to be something I have had a lot of lately! 2nd....and most importantly, I haven't had a clue how to start, or finish, my post! My first thought was..."who am I to tell others what Christian character looks like!" I am surely not there, w/ most of it myself....people are going to think I am being so snotty! I started a blog to get myself out of it...yet it remained un-posted! lol...I asked God to help me out, to show me a polite way of avoiding/ignoring it...yet, that didn't seem to happen either....I kept thinking about it and praying....oh the stress and thought I have put into it!....and to think, blogging is suppose to be fun! lol!
So I have finally been given peace about what I am to say, yes I am going to blog about Christian Character, BUT I am not going to be using my words! This way, you can't get mad at me, or think I am being Pharisaical....I am using Jesus' words...straight out of the book of Matthew!
SO here goes! Matthew 5:21-48
You have heard that the ancients were told, "You shall not commit murder" and "Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court." "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his bother, "Raca," shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever shall say, "You fool," shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. "If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. "Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, in order that your opponent may not deliver you to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. "Truly I say to you, you shall not come out of there, until you have paid up the last cent. "You have hard that is was said, "You shall not commit adultery'; but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. "And if you right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, then for you whole body to be thrown into hell. "And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut if off, and throw it form you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for you whole body to go into hell. "And it was said, "Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce"; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, expect for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. "Again you have heard that the ancients were told, "You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord." "But I say, to you make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is the City of the Great King. "Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. "But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; and anything beyond these is of evil. "You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." "But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil, but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. "And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. "And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go w/ him two. "Give to him who asked of you, and do not turn away from him how whats to borrow from you. "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.' "But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax-gatherers do the same? "And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect!
So these are Jesus' words to the disciples....there is more in chapter 6...go there and keep reading. I don't want to try and "tell" you, what this is saying, but I do challenge you to think on them and pray over them. I have studied them in the past few months at BSF, and I now find myself referring back to them often. I believe that God shows each of us what our own Christian character looks like....we all have different make ups....therefore it will look different for all of us....I know that sounds confusing, but let me see if I can explain....It clearly says that we shouldn't commit adultery in the physical form, but then Jesus also tells us...if we do it in our mind it's the same thing.....well...that's where it gets a little tougher. Because what might make me go "there"(in my mind) might not make you think about "it" at all....see what I am saying? An example, when I was first studying this, I clearly came to realize that TV was a "stumbling block" for me, there were many reasons, so I chose to do what the bible said....which was "cut it off" LOL...convenient that in this situation it applied so well! lol....so I decided to turn off the TV for ME...that did NOT mean I asked Alex to stop watching TV or that I think anyone who does is wrong, it means I needed to remove it from MY life.....that doesn't mean if you read this passage that you "should" hear the same thing, no not at all, you may hear something completely different, that is what I mean when it is "different" for everyone. You have to do what you are told from God to do, not what you think someone else thinks you should do....you are only accountable to God and His word, so if while you are reading this passage and feel the Lord speaking to you, then heed what He is saying and He will bless you for obeying!
Ok so I hope I have gotten myself out of my corner, I hope this gives you an idea about christian character....now I can go back to enjoying blogging....actually, this wasn't bad....I do enjoy this topic, but it did take a few times of sitting down to finish it!....But then Alex is off from work....from the Friday before Christmas through new years.....so I have been spending a lot of extra time w/ him!...sorry it took me so long to blog....and I won't be back again before the new year! lol! Love to all~ and happy new year~
So I have finally been given peace about what I am to say, yes I am going to blog about Christian Character, BUT I am not going to be using my words! This way, you can't get mad at me, or think I am being Pharisaical....I am using Jesus' words...straight out of the book of Matthew!
SO here goes! Matthew 5:21-48
You have heard that the ancients were told, "You shall not commit murder" and "Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court." "But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his bother, "Raca," shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever shall say, "You fool," shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. "If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. "Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, in order that your opponent may not deliver you to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. "Truly I say to you, you shall not come out of there, until you have paid up the last cent. "You have hard that is was said, "You shall not commit adultery'; but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. "And if you right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, then for you whole body to be thrown into hell. "And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut if off, and throw it form you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for you whole body to go into hell. "And it was said, "Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce"; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, expect for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. "Again you have heard that the ancients were told, "You shall not make false vows, but shall fulfill your vows to the Lord." "But I say, to you make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is the City of the Great King. "Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. "But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; and anything beyond these is of evil. "You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." "But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil, but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. "And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. "And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go w/ him two. "Give to him who asked of you, and do not turn away from him how whats to borrow from you. "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.' "But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax-gatherers do the same? "And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect!
So these are Jesus' words to the disciples....there is more in chapter 6...go there and keep reading. I don't want to try and "tell" you, what this is saying, but I do challenge you to think on them and pray over them. I have studied them in the past few months at BSF, and I now find myself referring back to them often. I believe that God shows each of us what our own Christian character looks like....we all have different make ups....therefore it will look different for all of us....I know that sounds confusing, but let me see if I can explain....It clearly says that we shouldn't commit adultery in the physical form, but then Jesus also tells us...if we do it in our mind it's the same thing.....well...that's where it gets a little tougher. Because what might make me go "there"(in my mind) might not make you think about "it" at all....see what I am saying? An example, when I was first studying this, I clearly came to realize that TV was a "stumbling block" for me, there were many reasons, so I chose to do what the bible said....which was "cut it off" LOL...convenient that in this situation it applied so well! lol....so I decided to turn off the TV for ME...that did NOT mean I asked Alex to stop watching TV or that I think anyone who does is wrong, it means I needed to remove it from MY life.....that doesn't mean if you read this passage that you "should" hear the same thing, no not at all, you may hear something completely different, that is what I mean when it is "different" for everyone. You have to do what you are told from God to do, not what you think someone else thinks you should do....you are only accountable to God and His word, so if while you are reading this passage and feel the Lord speaking to you, then heed what He is saying and He will bless you for obeying!
Ok so I hope I have gotten myself out of my corner, I hope this gives you an idea about christian character....now I can go back to enjoying blogging....actually, this wasn't bad....I do enjoy this topic, but it did take a few times of sitting down to finish it!....But then Alex is off from work....from the Friday before Christmas through new years.....so I have been spending a lot of extra time w/ him!...sorry it took me so long to blog....and I won't be back again before the new year! lol! Love to all~ and happy new year~
Thursday, December 6, 2007
surprised by joy
One of the things I enjoy about our teaching leader at "bible study fellowship" is that she has these "one liners" that make you think for the next week! Two weeks ago she used the phrase "surprised by joy" and talked about just that.....that we as Christians should live a life where God is able to surprise us w/ joy. She talked about different miracles that Jesus preformed and how they effected those different people differently, but yet in the end they were all "surprised by joy" As I left that morning, I wondered one thing, how many times have I been "surprised by joy" and yet chose to not look at it that way at all?....how many times has the way I perceived things dampened my joy? How often does Christ hand us joy and we choose anger, sour, pity, the marter syndrome , or one of those other options? Lately we have heard alot about the lack of rain, but have we stopped to think about all the water we do have? We don't live in a place where we have to walk to a "watering hole" for water. No we have clean water in our house that is still at our disposal....yet we complain that we are having restrictions placed on us at all....like our cars really need to be watered(not to even mention, thankful that we have a car)....where is our joy for what God has given us? Now this is just one of many examples I can think of....don't even get me started on Christmas! lol
Emma and I have been talking about all the children that don't get to have Christmas presents. I want her to understand that isn't not about the presents and that not every child get presents at all! I want her to understand that she is blessed, that God has given her her own blessings and she should be thankful for that....at this time in her life, something she can understand to be thankful for is Christmas and presents. We have talked about how we would feel if we didn't get anything for Christmas...to which she would be "very sad" and how we should be thankful for everything that God gives us, yes, even Christmas presents. That no she isn't more important to God than the children that don't get presents, but that she should remember to be thankful for the presents she gets and that she needs to be content w/ the things she was given and not always "want" more. Now I know you are thinking...why are you putting so much information on such a little girl? I believe that she is totally able to understand these ideas and I want her to learn it as early as possible...yet as I think about the concept as a whole I realize that not many adults have learned it, including myself. That we tend to be a very self-serving, self-indulging people, we don't think much about what we do have, but more on what we don't have. As I wondered about my lack of joy I realized it's because I can't receive it, how can someone receive joy when they can't be content w/ what they have? If we can't stop wanting more then when do we even give God a chances to "surprise us w/ joy" If we can't "wait" for anything, then God never gets a chance at all....and joy is hopeless to find!
So my next thought was...."what is stopping my joy....my surprises?" What is in my life that prevents me from receiving joy? and how do I change it? I don't have a right to "want more" if God never gave me another thing from this day forward, He is still worthy of all my praise and glory and devotion....so why do I put expectations on Him? Now understand I totally believe in A. S. K....ask, seek, knock....but there is a difference in A.S.K. and expecting...don't you think? The bible tells me to A.S.K., but it never promises the answer will be the one I WANT it to be, it says delight yourself in the Lord...but delights original meaning is to "desire" as in desire to do what's right in God's eyes....if you do that then He will grant you to desires of your heart.(and a little side note....he tells you to delight first...THEN..He will give you the desires..He wants you to act 1st)...but if you are desiring to do what's right in God's eyes then your desires and His desires will be the same....does that make sense? So my bottom line is....if I have a desire in my life that doesn't add up to God's desires for a Christian, then maybe I need to step back and make sure I am "delighting" in Him....and question why my desire doesn't add up to His...then remember that He owes me NOTHING, on the other hand I owe Him EVERYTHING. I MUST be content....and if I am He will be able to surprise me with JOY....how wonderful that could make my holidays!....my prayer is that everyone will be able to be surprised by some joy this Christmas....what a great gift we would all be receiving.
So I guess the last thing to cover would be....what exactly are God's desires for a Christian? Even as I type this I am excited to go back over my notes on this thought...we have already studied it....but I want my facts to be straight and it's getting late!....so that will be for the next blog! lol What do you think are God's desires for a believer?
good night :)
Emma and I have been talking about all the children that don't get to have Christmas presents. I want her to understand that isn't not about the presents and that not every child get presents at all! I want her to understand that she is blessed, that God has given her her own blessings and she should be thankful for that....at this time in her life, something she can understand to be thankful for is Christmas and presents. We have talked about how we would feel if we didn't get anything for Christmas...to which she would be "very sad" and how we should be thankful for everything that God gives us, yes, even Christmas presents. That no she isn't more important to God than the children that don't get presents, but that she should remember to be thankful for the presents she gets and that she needs to be content w/ the things she was given and not always "want" more. Now I know you are thinking...why are you putting so much information on such a little girl? I believe that she is totally able to understand these ideas and I want her to learn it as early as possible...yet as I think about the concept as a whole I realize that not many adults have learned it, including myself. That we tend to be a very self-serving, self-indulging people, we don't think much about what we do have, but more on what we don't have. As I wondered about my lack of joy I realized it's because I can't receive it, how can someone receive joy when they can't be content w/ what they have? If we can't stop wanting more then when do we even give God a chances to "surprise us w/ joy" If we can't "wait" for anything, then God never gets a chance at all....and joy is hopeless to find!
So my next thought was...."what is stopping my joy....my surprises?" What is in my life that prevents me from receiving joy? and how do I change it? I don't have a right to "want more" if God never gave me another thing from this day forward, He is still worthy of all my praise and glory and devotion....so why do I put expectations on Him? Now understand I totally believe in A. S. K....ask, seek, knock....but there is a difference in A.S.K. and expecting...don't you think? The bible tells me to A.S.K., but it never promises the answer will be the one I WANT it to be, it says delight yourself in the Lord...but delights original meaning is to "desire" as in desire to do what's right in God's eyes....if you do that then He will grant you to desires of your heart.(and a little side note....he tells you to delight first...THEN..He will give you the desires..He wants you to act 1st)...but if you are desiring to do what's right in God's eyes then your desires and His desires will be the same....does that make sense? So my bottom line is....if I have a desire in my life that doesn't add up to God's desires for a Christian, then maybe I need to step back and make sure I am "delighting" in Him....and question why my desire doesn't add up to His...then remember that He owes me NOTHING, on the other hand I owe Him EVERYTHING. I MUST be content....and if I am He will be able to surprise me with JOY....how wonderful that could make my holidays!....my prayer is that everyone will be able to be surprised by some joy this Christmas....what a great gift we would all be receiving.
So I guess the last thing to cover would be....what exactly are God's desires for a Christian? Even as I type this I am excited to go back over my notes on this thought...we have already studied it....but I want my facts to be straight and it's getting late!....so that will be for the next blog! lol What do you think are God's desires for a believer?
good night :)
writers block!
not that I am a "writer"...but lately I just can't find the words to say, I have a few things "un-posted" that I am working on, but I'm not ready to post yet, I haven't forgotten about blogging all together, but I feel like my mind is muddled a little....I'm just going to wait it out, until I'm certain what I'm to say....pray for Ian, he's being allergy tested on Monday afternoon, and can't take any of his current allergy medicine now...so he's not a happy camper....pray that we will finally get some answers!
I'll keep you posted! lol
I'll keep you posted! lol
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