my thought for today...

Someone asked last night at church if I had updated my blog lately....and I haven't given an update of mom and Gary in a while...so I wanted to do that this morning as there as has been some knew developments in the last few days! Last week (on Tuesday I think) Alex told me to plan to go and visit my mom for a few nights...it was the best thing he could of given me for Mother's Day! A couple of days w/ my mom! So the baby and I left on Thursday afternoon and headed to Durham! We had an awesome time shopping on Friday and then went on Saturday morning to get Mani/Pedi's for Mothers Day! Needless to say, it was time to come home WAY TO QUICKLY! While I was there, Gary received a call from the clinic to let him know that a donor has been found and contacted and they have agreed to donate! That is great news...but honestly it comes w/ mixed emotions. It is still so hard to look at Gary and believe that he will not live unless he goes through this process. He looks so great...even w/ no hair...he doesn't look sick! It's hard to believe that he is fixin' to enter this long risky process of bone marrow transplant! I attached the letter he send out on Saturday morning below! Since I left up there on Saturday, he has gone back into the hospital w/ a fever. They started antibiotics and he is doing well...they changed the plans for today to an "in-house" process. He must pass a lot of testing to be able to have the transplant....any "failing" of any of the test will make it unlikely for him to process! So as you can imagine today is vital as to what comes next for him! Please pray, that he and mom will have peace, and that God's will be so clear to them! They simply amaze me...as their biggest concern, is that if they receive bad news...how others will deal w/ it. as in the kids at their church as fasting for him, and their friends are grieving over not getting to see them...which I admit I understand! :) They are concerned how others will respond to "bad news"....it amazes me so much how they..although they don't want bad news, are at complete peace w/ whatever God has planned for them! I am doing my best to follow their guidelines and their standards...God teaches us to look to those we want to be like and do as they do!...well, I'm doing my best to do as they are doing...but I doubt I can ever do it as well as they do!....enjoy the note below! :)


Happy Mother's day...a day late...to all the mommy's who read my blog! Enjoy each new day that the Lord has given you with your children! They are a true gift from God!






Dear Praying Friends:

"...I will sing of Your power; Yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy in the morning; For You have been my defense and refuge in the day of my trouble. To You, O my Strength, I will sing praises; for God is my defense, my God of mercy." (Psalm 59:16, 17).

Your prayers, for us, continue to be answered! "A SUITABLE BONE MARROW DONOR HAS BEEN FOUND" is what the lady at the Bone Marrow Clinic told us late yesterday afternoon. "We'd like for you to come in early Monday morning to begin an initial work up"

Our immediate response was one of total excitement and then came a mixture of "now we enter into the hard part" and "Lord, we sure need Your help".
A dear friend reminded me of the song Doug Oldham used to sing entitled: We have come this far by Faith where it says "we're leaning on the Lord and we're Trusting in His Holy Word." In Psalm 57:1 we read: "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by." Doesn't that remind you of the song Till the storm passes by? And, doesn't it just thrill your soul when the Word of God, set to music, causes one to look up with praise and gratitude?

Monday will be a full day of labs, lung test, X ray, EKG and an appointment in the afternoon with Dr. Rizzeri (the lead Dr.) for an evaluation. When these tests reveal that I am "ready" they will make more firm arrangements with the donor as to possible dates of "cell transplant". The donor is to be given three dates from which to pick the most convenient and to make arrangements for he/she to be "tested and made ready" as well. This could come together as soon as the first or second week in June. Only God is aware of the timetable at this point.

Shirley does need to return to Charlotte for a few days the last week of May for some medical appointments she has already set up. Whether I will be able to accompany her or not will depend on my then present condition and/or need for more "seclusion". Even when "we" return home there will be the need for being "very" careful as to surroundings and people. I am so grateful we even have the "opportunity" to continue to live for His glory and each other.

Pray that we will be able to remain strong, be at peace with the Dr's decisions, remain in His Word and trusting His hand. You all are so valuable and precious to us and we praise the Lord daily for each one of you.

His Grace continues,
Gary & Shirley

do overs

It's been a long time since I have sat at this computer to express my feeling here on my blog. I have been so busy, sometimes I feel to busy to have time for feelings...so I think I spend to much time pushing them away....so I don't have to think about them. It's interesting to me where life has brought me...so much has been covered in the last decade of my life! But lately I've been feeling that God is in a way giving me a "do over" You know, you do something...it's just not quite right...so you rip out that seam, and DO IT OVER! Can you tell I've been sewing some lately! :) The only thing that seems to stay in the back of my mind is...will this day be a "do over" event for me? SEVEN years...wow, I can't believe it's been 7 years...ago today, I said goodbye for now, to daddy! It was such a quick crazy battle w/ cancer...w/ a long hard goodbye at the end. Today, I find Gary, my stepdad, bonus dad, mom's husband, my kids papa...which ever name you want to give him....fighting the same fight. I feel as this has been my do-over chance. When dad was sick, I was still so young, just learning to stand on my own as...well, so many thing, as a person, as a Christian, as a soon to be wife..but mostly I was learning to stand on my own as a Christ-follower. It was a hard time for me, I really questioned so many thing...mainly being the "why ME" question. I find myself in a very similar place today...but I feel God showing me somethings about myself this time that have been so encouraging. It's like HE has said to me, I'm giving you a "do-over" so you can see how much you have grown in me in the last few years! Now TRUST ME, I am far from perfect...and thankfully I never will be required to be perfect! I have still had my moments...lot's of them, when I struggle with this current situation, but it has been different this time, I have been able to walk w/ more peace...I don't always feel like that every moment...just ask the girls at community group last Thursday! :) BUT, I do know there has been a HUGE difference in how I have approached it time around! I feel like I'm all grown up now! lol! J/K...I am so J/K! I was reading the post I blogged a year ago...it's amazing that it is word for word how I feel today. The emotions are all still there and so real...I miss daddy more and more I think as time goes on...w/ every event that happens I always wonder what he would of thought. With every struggle, I wish to talk to him...just typing those words brings tears to my eyes...and I know it always will...and I also know, it's ok! Well, I am off, to go visit with my grandparents...I want to do something today that I know dad would be doing if he were here!
love to all!...and daddy, I love you and I miss you!

only a second to spend!

Once again I find that I haven't done very well at updating anything! The kids and I were able to go and visit for a few days, and Alex was able to join us for the weekend up in Durham, it was WONDERFUL to be able to spend a few days with mom and Gary, and Gary was feeling so good while we were there! It seems like things have been so non stop that I feel like we missed April altogether! and now it's May...WOW, where are the days going? I have made some major changes to my schedule of the last couple of weeks and I am really enjoying those changes! We had a yard sale today!....and did very well thank you! It's been a long day...and although I feel like I have so much more I could say...I'm not going to right now, I'm going to go and enjoy our new tv w/ my hubby!

Here is the latest on Gary...he is starting his next round of chemo. Mom called tonight and he's running a fever. Not the one the chemo is suppose to cause, but one from an upper respiratory infection. Play that it will go away and not cause problems...and that his body can fight this infection...and that the dr.s will know what steps to take!

here's the latest note from mom and Gary!



Dear Friends,

Today we begin another new journey. We will be entering the hospital this afternoon. Gary will once again be prepared and will begin his first chemo treatment tonight at 9:00 p.m. This course of chemo will be being administered a little differently but is the same drug as he received previously. The doctors are all optimistic because frankly Gary is feeling stronger now than when we entered the hospital previously. Of course, transplant is still the goal.

We cannot tell you we are going in with eagerness. We both are a little concerned about doing this again. They are still approaching this regimen of therapy with the same precautions as before...expecting "possibly" a high fever at sometime during the next 2 to 3 weeks. We do want his white counts to completely bottom out since we need "remission" to enter transplant. We all have seen God doing amazing things and we are praying for His continual presence and healing.

Today, we have been loved by our Lord through the scriptures, our devotions and our time of prayer. We do experience His peace and comfort.
Psalm 121:1&2 stood out to us today where it reads: " I will lift up my eyes to the hills--from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber" and then verses 7-10 "The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore."

Thank you, dear friends, for your continuing prayer support and encouragement. You mean so much to us.

Depending on His "unsearchable greatness". (Psalm 145:3)
Gary & Shirley