update...again!

Good morning everyone....thought you might like an update on Gary...


Hello Everyone, Gary's counts continue to come up daily. Some of the increases are so significant it has been almost unbelievable. The good news is we are being released from the hospital tomorrow (if counts continue to rise as they have been) and will return to the bone marrow clinic on Monday for another blood count. The doctors will continue blood counts if they should see anything questionable. Then the following Monday, April 27th, we will return for the (long in coming) bone marrow biopsy. This biopsy has been delayed because of the really good response Gary's body is doing in recovering. The doctors expect the marrow to be clean, however, we all know there is a possibility they may find leukemic cells and he would return for more chemo. HOWEVER, we know God is in control and we continue to experience His Presence and Power daily. Once the bone marrow has been found to be clean and clear, we should hear those wonderful words "Remission"...then as God wills, with the timing of the donor and the availability, on to bone marrow transplant.

The question has been asked if once in "remission" would Gary still have MDS. The doctor's have said that in most cases the remission of leukemia doesn't reverse the MDS, however, it has happened, it is just a very small percentage. Wouldn't that be amazing. The Clinical Research staff are telling us the doctors are simply flabbergasted at how well Gary has done and is doing. Of course, whether the MDS is reversed or not is all yet to be revealed in God's timing and plan. I am trying to remember Ps. 18:30 "God's plan is perfect" (Isn't that right Patty?) I do believe I am learning just a little bit about miracles. Often we pray and don't see God's answer or His answer is not the one we want. Therefore, we feel we have not received the "miracle" we asked for. I am coming to realize that every day is a miracle. I am sure we miss many of God's daily miracles. It will be my continued prayer that God will open my eyes to HIS work and help me to trust Him and recognize that life is a daily miracles. We feel we are so blessed and will continue to acknowledge our heavenly Father as All Knowing, All Powerful and Forever Present. Though we may not understand His sovereignty, we will continue to live daily to the fullest realizing just how precious life is and how special our loved ones are to us.

In His Grip and Holding on,

Shirley
PS. For those of you who may be interested...my son, Nick and his wife Samantha, found out our 9th grandbaby is a GIRL! Another miracle! I know the name but I'm afraid to tell without permission...maybe next update. Yes, we do have the new license plate "9 Grans"...awaiting for us at home. Smile!

Some cutie pies!

I'm not sure why God gave me such adorable kids....but He did! :) I sure wouldn't trade them for the world! We were down in Waxhaw on Saturday for me to take some pictures of the Blackson clan and of course I took some of my kiddos too!....look how big Eli is getting! :( He is ALMOST sitting up, and has decided to roll over FINALLY! He loves his toes and will "talk" to you about anything! He is an expert at using the mouse...heeheee and the remote control!(somehow he always finds the volume button! He only cries when he thinks he is alone...as long as Emma, Ian or I am in sight he is a happy and content baby! He WON'T take a bottle to save my life!....lol...but I think soon, he won't have a choice....hmmmm, should be interesting He has taken to food well, LOVES to eat...yep, he's all boy! I have been taking it really slow w/ him and food....maybe I'm being lazy, but I just don't see the need to rush it, so we are only eating once a day for now, I think I'll bump it to twice a day soon....we'll see! No teeth yet...but they are there...and so close, it should be soon...but don't let that fool you, he bites well w/o teeth!heehee!

Enjoy the pictures!

News from last night!

I promised to keep you updated...I never dreamed we would have more news so quickly...but this is the kind of news I LOVE sharing....enjoy a "touch from God"




Dear Friends:
There is a verse in Philippians chapter 1 verse 19 that has spoken to me today. It reads "For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ"
Tonight we have received GREAT news. It appears that the chemo has eradicated almost all of the Leukemia and that the cells that remain may actually be being produced by my own bone marrow. In light of this the chemo I was scheduled to begin at 9PM tonight has been cancelled and they will monitor me for another week then do another bone marrow test.
Based upon those findings a plan of action will be given. Now, they say there is still a chance of temperature spikes, etc..but what they found out today just "doesn't normally happen". It is recognized as a touch from God even by the medical community.
Let's just Praise The Lord together for His special grace and look forward to daily blessings.
Shirley and I are convinced it is through your holding us up in prayer that enables God to do such wonderful acts.
We love you and will keep you advised.
Shirley & Gary

I am still here!....sorta

Ok...so I must say I am so sorry for not doing a better job at keeping everyone updated on Gary....this last 2 weeks have been extremely crazy! So before I say anything else...here is the email my mom send out last night about what's going on w/ them...


Good Evening Loved Ones,
We have just received the results of the bone marrow biopsy. The bone marrow was not completely empty of cells so tomorrow Gary (we) will continue with 5 additional days of chemo. At this time, Gary will be monitored very carefully and also daily blood work. Once his blood levels return to a safe level(three week process) we will then around day 35 do another bone marrow biopsy. This biopsy will then determine the next step hopefully we will move into the transplant phase.
Yes, we are a little disappointed but are rejoicing at what the initial chemo did accomplish. God is good, all the time...all the time God is good. We know that with God all things are possible. We have definitely experienced His presence and His love abundantly. Words simply cannot express how much we and our family appreciates your love and continued prayers. This morning one of my devotions was on the hymn "My Hope Is Built"...what a perfect reminder that it is indeed "On Christ the Solid Rock we Stand, All Other Ground is Sinking Sand"...so you see this too is part of God's plan for us. Please pray and feel our hugs and prayers coming back to you. Love Shirley


So, I was up in Durham again yesterday, but not able to stay until the news came in....again, I found myself there, but yet not there when needed....nice! I am so frustrated about that, but then God knows best, He knew I had to leave by 4 and I have to trust that as much as mom wanted me there when the dr's came...there was a reason I wasn't! So, we start round 2 for chemo, not a complete surprise, but like mom said, a disappointment all the same! It adds 3 more weeks to them being gone from home...and right now I know they are both craving to be in there house and their bed...pray for their strength!

I was actually blog reading this morning...no, I haven't gotten caught up by any means...but I feel SO SO SO behind now. Two of my friends that have babies the same ages as Eli have posted their babies "6 month old" post...and Eli...poor guy...he's got nothin! lol...although he did turn 6 months old and is growing like a weed! We went on vacation this past weekend...lol...camping w/ 6 kids and a cold morning deserves it's own post!....I have SO much to do and this week is crazy again! We came home early from camping, which allowed me to go to Durham, unexpectedly, Alex took off and kept the big kids for me, my cousin Morgan went w/ me to keep Eli for me...she is SO awesome!....thanks Morgan, you have been a life saver, when can you move in? :) I haven't even announced that I am going to be an aunt again! In September....Savannah will be a big sister! We are getting closer and closer to fall and starting school...Emma is SO excited...me, I think scared silly is a good way to describe it! Life is a whirl wind right now...and I am just along for the ride...hanging on tight! I am hanging tough and never stop being amazed at the peace that God give...especially peace in the moment! We are nearing the 7th year anniversary of Dad's death, and so much is going on....but I am thankful for my Saviour and what HE did for me on the cross, that HE is always w/ me, and I know for a fact HE is walking w/ me through these moments of my life....just like HE did 7 years ago. I can feel Him, and His arms wrapped around me...no matter what happens I know because of Him, I will be ok!

SO I can't promise I will be back soon...it might be a while, but I am asking that you won't stop praying for us!

One last thing...I want to say thank you for the emails and love everyone has sent my way...there are WAY to many to answer at this time, but to everyone, please know how much I have appreciated the thoughts and prayers...and that I love every one of you...even if I haven't had a chance to talk to you personally!

the latest news on Gary...

March 20, 2009

Dear Friends,
We are sorry there has been a delay in our updates but as many would say "life happens". As you all know, we met Wednesday with the doctors at Duke that are involved in a clinical program that specializes in adult bone marrow transplants. We were told that the MDS (myelodysplatic syndrome)has quickly gone into acute leukemia and is rapidly progressing. Our choices are limited.

We have decided that we will participate in the clinical program at the Duke Medical Center. This will begin with aggressive chemotherapy and then proceed to a stem cell bone marrow transplant sometime in the future.. There are serious risks involved. We will leave for Durham tomorrow and settle Shirley into an apartment. Gary will report into the hospital at ll:00 AM on Sunday. Thus will begin a very lengthy procedure. Thank you for praying for us and our family as we face these challenges together.

Many of you know that we have been involved with Financial Peace University. We and thankful that these classes will continue under the capable direction of George and Pat Slatt and Brian and Pam Walrod.

This morning in our devotion time we read thoughts from Beside Still Waters by C.H. Spurgeon. The thought was The Lord Delivers and based on Psalm 34:19. He wrote " Are you in great trouble? If you have a trial that you cannot share or a trouble that, if you did share no one could help, then go and spread it before the Lord. Remember His words, 'Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.'
Go and tell Him that He has spoken and that He has pledged Himself to deliver you out of all your afflictions. Be sure of this, God will be as good as His Word. My brothers and sisters, may God help us to look to Him."

Doesn't it seem that the Lord provides for each of us just exactly what we need for each day?

Know you are loved and appreciated... Remember this... while you pray.... "we will PUSH through" (Pray Until Something Happens).

Standing on His Promises,
Gary and Shirley

We'll keep you posted as to progress and the Lord's blessings,

In His grip,

Gary & Shirley



This is the latest letter from mom and Gary...We came home on Thursday evening, and they left again today for Duke to stay for atleast 30 days(after the chemo...depending on how it goes, he MIGHT can come home for 14 days, before they start the stem cell transplant....which is a 3 month process in Durham). It was a whirlwind 36 hours getting them out the door today! All of his girls (Alison, Becca and Melanie and their kids) were able to come and see Gary b/f they left...I know how glad he was to see them...but I'll admit it...it was crazy, crazy busy!

As I said before I have CHOSEN to believe that God will preform a miracle as we all know He is capable of doing. He is the only one I want in control of this situation and I am glad it's not my responsibility :) Please continue to pray for us, the situation wasn't exactly what we were expecting, as the prognosis was worse then we thought it would be. They face some very long weeks ahead w/ only hope to hold on to as far as "how it will go" We are all scared of the harsh reality that looms out there...it is something that is so close to both sides of this blended family, and none of us are ready to embrace it in any way!

Please keep praying

a note from Gary, and more info on his cancer

Subject: Latest update on Gary

Monday, March 16, 2008

Dear Friends:

First of all Shirley and I want to thank you for praying for us during these days of testing. We are so appreciative and can literally "feel" your prayers.

Last week I went to the oncologist to have a bone marrow biopsy along with additional blood work. In addition we visited the lab at the hospital for a chest X-ray and an echo-electrocardiogram. The object was to determine the progression of the MTS and to see if anything else was going on that could be producing my current fatigue and breathlessness. We were to get the results within a week.

This morning Dr. Boyd (my oncologist) called and said that the aspiration from the bone marrow test had been received and it shows that now I have progressed from the MTS into Acute leukemia. He is recommending that we come to the office tomorrow to discuss the plan of treatment hoping to lead to a stage of remission. Becca, Beth, Shirley and I will be meeting with the Dr. around noon tomorrow (March 17).

Our request is that you remember Dr. Boyd as he determines the medication for me to take and any treatments he feels would be beneficial to me. Also for myself and the girls as we listen and attempt to assimilate the information in an orderly way.

We will let you know the results of this appointment and keep you posted as we go along.

Thank you all again for your loving support.
Gary & Shirley
Jude 24, 25.


I know for some of you, this is a complete surprise, some of you may of known a little about what's been going on...but I wanted to take a few minutes to fill everyone in....the above is a letter that my mom and Gary sent out yesterday and it explains what's going on w/ Gary and his cancer....to fill in the blanks a little, we found out a few months back that Gary had what is labeled MTS...don't ask me what the "longer" term is...I don't know, but what it is, is a condition where the white blood cells make "bad" cells and then the "bad cells eat the good ones....nice huh! We knew from the beginning that eventually it would become leukemia, but we were given on time frame....well, over the last few weeks Gary's tiredness and energy began to decrease so the dr decided to run some more test and that is where the letter picked up that I posted above.

Today we visited Dr. Boyd whom Gary mentioned above and he has referred Gary to a dr at Duke University. We have an appointment tomorrow morning at Duke, under the assumption that we will be starting treatment (chemo) as soon as possible and then once Gary has reached the state of remission he will be able to go through a stem cell transplant, that will completely rid his body of the "bad" cells.

Here is where I need y'all...everyone...Please! There is alot of "IF's" involved here. There is ALOT that has to go right. We are and will walk by faith through this, knowing that God is in control. My family is scared right now, ALOT of this is familiar territory for us, before resulting in a very painful ending. I personally have had to make the choice to believe that Gary can make a full recovery...it's harder this time, I believed the same thing w/ my dad...and well...he didn't.

So here are the prayer request concerning Gary. First and foremost, a full recovery, second for wisdom for his doctors. For strength for each day, for a donor match, for the chemo to be effective and for remission to be reach. For my mom and Gary's girls that they will have grace for each moment and with each new piece of information. For all of Gary's grandkids, and for everyone involved to know the best way to answer their questions....Thank you for the prayer and support I know will be out there! I have to say, everyone is holding up very well, and I know it is because of prayer...please don't stop!

with love
Beth

happy birthday Ian!

some random pictures of the birthday boy!

So our morning started w/ Emma coming in to climb in our bed around 7 this morning...I am grateful we made it until 7, normally it's earlier, but now on Friday my kids like to sleep in b/c we have home group on Thursday night and don't get home until late...very shortly after I hear the baby...so I get up to go and get him...where I am awarded w/ a HUGE smile, I LOVE peeking over into his crib and getting that smile, the one that says..."you are the best thing in the WHOLE WORLD Mommy!" As I head out of their room, Ian's door opens...I peek around the corner and this is the conversation that followed:

Me: Good morning buddy!
I: Morning...while he rubs his eyes!
Me: Ian, it's your birthday!
I: I THFEEE NOW?...the sleepiness has quickly disappeared!
Me: yes you are three now
I: YEAH, YES...I BIG BOY NOW!
Me: Laughing....yes Ian, your a big boy now!
I: I go tell Daddy!...and off he goes to tell daddy he's a big boy now!


Soon after Ian and Daddy were off to Duncan Donuts to pick out some breakfast!...Alex was able to go in late this morning...unfortunately he won't be home until after midnight tonight! BUT he was able to get our morning off to a good start w/ donuts...yummy! and yes I ate one! But only one, I refuse to undo all my hard work at loosing weight...I am very close to the 20 lb mark and donuts are not going to ruin it for me!...neither will the McDonald's trip we have planned later!..lol!..but it is his birthday and I did give birth to him, so I should get to celebrate too...right?...hmmm I guess I have never mentioned my quest for loosing weight before..so to fill you in quickly, I started working really hard on loosing weight after my 6 week appointment after Eli! I had lost most of the weight I gained during my pregnancy...but was far...very far from where I needed to be. I asked the dr to give me an "ideal HEALTHY weight goal" that day and then cried when I got to the car!...it seemed impossible as he had given me a 10 lbs "between this and this" goal and it was almost 20 lbs I needed to loose to even get to the larger of the 2 weights and then 30 lbs to get to the smaller of the 2 weights! I was so discouraged...BUT, I decided that day, I was the only one who could DO anything about it and I was determined to not whine and not change...I didn't want to walk around and talk about no liking my body/weight(and wanting to be more healthy)...yet be doing nothing about it...so I started a life change...and now I am so excited to say I am only 1/2 a lb away from the larger of the 2 weights and I still have the goal to loose 5 more lbs so I can be "in the middle" of the 2 weights he gave me!...I am close, but as anyone who has ever worked to loose weight knows...the last 5 lbs are the hardest!..it's slow going now...but I won't give up!....all that to say, I have given myself permission to enjoy today!....donuts and all!...ok, so that wasn't very short at all!...sorry for the rabbit trail!...back to birthday thoughts!


You know I got to thinking about how easy it would be if things like "a day" really could change our life. In his mind, now he's 3 and that means he's a big boy, he has talked about being a big boy that will peepee and poop in the potty (hmm, that would be nice...if it's that easy!) He has talked about sharing his toys b/c he's 3...(hmm, again that would be nice!) and in his mind he should be able to do that all b/c he's 3~ How nice would that be if it were true!...if we could just pick a day for our human nature to be done away w/ and for only Christ to shine through...like Ian thinking b/c he's 3 he will ALWAYS share his toys...he has no idea that sharing is a learned thing, that most likely he will struggle w/ his whole life, b/c we in our humanous don't like to share!...That sharing is something we have to work at doing...but I admit, I like the ease of his thought process!


Ok, so enough about that! My Ian is 3 it's so hard to believe how the time has flown by in the last few years! I remember when he was born, I had a dr's appointment that day and left Emma w/ Gary, and didn't leave any instructions b/c I just knew I would be back home..I didn't pack a bag, I just knew I would be pregnant forever at that point!lol...as it was I didn't go back home, but rather straight over to have him by inductions b/c he was in a dry sack. I had mom w/ me, but Alex was at work...poor guy had only be back at work for a week from his accident and then I'm calling him and telling him to come to the hospital! He had an appointment with PT that day and I remember calling to see if we could get his appointment changed and he was able to go early...around 12...instead of 4! Mom left to go and get my clothes while Alex was at PT and that was the same time they started the drugs for me...not a good thing, I was all alone during the worst of the whole labor....now I don't know if you have ever been induced...but I have done it both ways...being induced is horrible compared to the natural way of labor starting!...there is no time for the build up of pain tolerance no, you are in full labor right away!...so I was able to get my eppi pretty quickly which was nice and then after that Ian was by far my easiest baby I delivered and my biggest! So mom and Alex both missed the worst part of the labor and by the time they got back I was fine...Alex told everyone, this one was SO easy!...lol, oh well, he was still non-weight bearing on one hand...all he could do was watch!lol! I was looking at pictures to other day and the one of Alex holding Ian was pitiful, he looked so sick still...pale and uncomfortable holding Ian...thank goodness that is all history now!

What I remember of Ian's birth is...thinking, is that really my baby as soon as he came out!...LOL...he was so BIG and had red hair! He didn't look anything like his sister and in my mind he should of been the boy version of her!

I remember a friend, Dawn coming late that night after he was born to visit and trying on the socks I had bought for him and them not even going on his foot!...we had a really good laugh over that one, Emma was so tiny and I just knew Ian would be the same that I had "better prepared" for him....yeah right, there is no such thing!lol I remember Emma at 19months finally connecting the dots of "baby" that mommy had been telling her about for a long time. She was leaving and saw pictures on the door of the photographer room and then came running back in to Ian and says "BABY" and runs to the pictures and says "BABY" and then back again! TOO CUTE!

Ian, you are such a FUN boy to hang out with! I love playing pirates with you and having sword fights! I can't wait to watch you grow over then next years, your personality is so full of life,fun loving, sensitive, caring and concerned for others! Never change those things and you will do well in life! I LOVE how when we ask you what you learned at church or puggles you always say "about God" in your mind nothing else matters...and you are right! I love to watch you pretend you are Miss Amy(your Puggles teacher) and how you show all your pretend "children" the flash cards and tell them the story...along w/ telling them to sit still!...b/c I am sure you are the one she is telling to "sit still" at puggles so you think that is part of the story! :) I love your smile, and the way you come and tell me "I take good nap mommy!" after you wake up from your nap! I love the way you like to be read to and that even though you have the book "wocket in my pocket" memorized you still want it read to you daily! I love that you adore your sister, she is the best thing in your world, and you plan to marry her "when you grow up!"...that I know will change, but for now, it's so sweet! I love how when Eli's crying you came and tell me "Mommy Eli's crying, but I'll take care of him for you!" and then you are off the talk to him until I can get there...and by the time I get there, Eli is all smiles again! You are a great big brother and Eli adores you so much...never abuse that!

Ian, I love you so much! I can't wait to teach you more and more in the years to come...you are such a joy to me! I LOVE YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

powerwheels, camping, tax returns and a little more!

Hey everyone....just a quick note to let everyone know how much I appreciated the prayers. Mom is home and making a quick recovery! Thank you to everyone for the calls and the notes letting me know you care! Most of you know how hard it is for me to have mom get sick, it brings back such hard memories of dad being sick, so your thoughts are more sweet to me than you can even realize.

It's funny as you near the year anniversary of someones death, you seems to have this "idea" that "it's going to be different or easier this year" yet, it never is...this time of year is always hard for me...it's not like I go into depression anymore...it's more like I find myself just a little more sensitive to life...I have learned over the last few years to really try to shift my focus, not to not remember my dad, but to look for the things I can look forward to instead of the more obvious pain of what is missing.

So in honor of doing that...here is my list of things I'm looking forward too!

Ian's birthday! We bought him a powerwheels....he will be thrilled, but for now I am SO excited I can hardly stand it!

Going camping...the first of April we are going camping w/ Susan and her crew...6 kids, 3 tents and a mountain! Sounds like a blast to me...did you hear that Todd, we will have fun! :P

The NCHE conference, now this is one I NEVER thought I would be saying I'm excited about, but I am, I CAN NOT WAIT to get to the book fair w/ money to spend!

Our tax return!...we found out today what we are getting back! It is more than we expected and I am thrilled...it amazes me how God provides! (a shout out to Nathan for doing our taxes!)

My brother turns 30....heeheehe....I'm glad he's first! Let the planning begin!

Starting up the garden...I am SO ready to plant...I want it to be warmer so we can get out there and get it going....I am glad I'm not prego this summer so I can do so much more in the garden!

Well that is my spring line up...now I have some spring fever....I think I'll go and clean something!....next I'll have the summer line up....which will include but not be limited to Alex's birthday, our anniversary, vacation, gardening, starting up school, and lot's more!...stay tuned :)

Pray...please!

Hey everyone, this will be short....My mom went in the hospital last night and will be having surgury sometime this afternoon. They are thinking it is her apendex, but aren't completely sure. They are running more test as I type....Pray for her pain, which is ALOT right now...I'll keep you posted!

around the corner....

Time flies when you are having fun....that's the saying anyway! Around here it seems to be time flies when your sick!....although the days seem SO long sometimes! I turn around and it's been three weeks since I have blogged anything...I know I said it would be few and farther in between...but gosh, I didn't mean non-existent! These last few weeks have been rather strange for me. Both the boys have been sick...Eli twice now, Ian is struggling w/ allergies AGAIN...this weather is killing him! We haven't made it to AWANA in a full month now....nice. I had to give up BSF, b/c Eli won't take a bottle and it's way to hard to expect Gary to keep him when I know he will give him a fit. Alex and I did go out w/ Todd and Susan last Friday night and Eli had to suffer through, but for some reason I can do that w/ mom keeping him and not feel bad. We had a great time out!....camping here we come!....right Todd! :) But other than that, Eli is really attached at the hip right now, which I really don't mind to much! When he first stop taking the bottle I felt very trapped, but then I realized that he will be a big boy before I'm ready so I might as well enjoy this time and not be stressed that it's not going the way I want!

Do you ever wonder what's around the corner? I very much feel like that right now...every time I turn around I wonder why God is requiring this or that from me...I feel like I'm being stretched.....alot....right now. I don't consider this a bad thing, in fact I know from experience this is a good thing...a very good thing. I also find it hard and exhausting at the same time. I know that God has given me a very specific purpose right now, and this stretching fits into that plan...so why do I sometimes struggle to except the change that's coming? It's the weirdest thing, I want the changes...even need the changes....yet the changes make me want to cry all at the same time! Alex and I have moved to the uptown campus of Elevation to be able to serve and help out w/ starting Ekidz we also moved community groups and changed what service we are attending ourselves. I gave up BSF, and we haven't be able to be at AWANA in a few weeks....nothing from my normal schedule still remains. We finish up our FPU class next week and then that will be over too. I am interested to see what God is planning...he has completely cleared my schedule...the question is what for? I have been spending some time w/ other homeschool moms, and they have helped me see some of why my schedule is clearing...it's just I hadn't planned to clear it 7 months b/f we started school....hmmm! It's in His hands, I know I have to be careful what I choose to put into my schedule from here forward, b/c my primary focus will be shifting to my kids educations. I know this isn't the first time God has cleared my schedule, He did this a couple of summers ago and it ended up being one of the most fulfilling times of my life...a wonderful time of growth, b/c I wasn't to busy to hear from him. I know I need to be sure I slow down and not miss what it is He's bring my way! My prayer is to know Him more fully everyday, and the only way I can do that is by slowing down to listen to what He's telling me....pray for me as I start this new adventure He has waiting for me....pray that I can see what it is soon! :)

What God has asked me to do....

Ok so the kids aren't here....well, the baby is..but he doesn't count, b/c he doesn't cause any interruptions! :) Emma and Ian spent the night w/ Savannah last night b/c Alex and I (and Eli) had a trip planned to Raleigh today...but as y'all all know...it's SNOWING! So our trip has been rescheduled until next Monday...whew! So I find myself at home almost alone this morning and the first time I have allowed myself to sit and blog in FOREVER! I decided back around Christmas that I needed to spend less time on the computer....it's funny, I use to struggle w/ the amount of time I spent in front of the TV, then the Lord convicted me of that....so I just moved on to another device...the computer. Between blogging and facebook and emails it is easy to spent hours a day on here and that is NOT what God has called me to do w/ my time. (disclaimer....I'm not trying to point fingers at anyone else...this is what God has told ME for ME...but if you are feeling guilty, maybe you should ask God what He is telling you! :)...end of disclaimer!) So back to my story, I found that I was putting my kids off to finish a blog or read a blog. Or wasn't talking to them during lunch so I could look at pictures on facebook or even chat w/ someone else that was on....again, this is not what God has called me to do. I know that God wants me to have close friendships and I do, but He has called me to be a mommy, and He wants my attention on that right now. We are gearing up to homeschool this fall which I am really really excited (and scared) about. and I know that He is asking me to line up my priorities better....I need to be ready to make school my number 1 priority at least until school is like second nature for me. SO, all that to say, I am choosing to cut back on the time I spend on the computer, so don't look for blogs from me to often. I know this is going to be like tv, once I have weened myself for a while, then I will be able to bring it back in my life w/ some thought through self-control...funny how God is constantly growing you in every area of your life :)

So for an update on the fam...Christmas was totally fun, we had a wonderful holidays...Alex took a good while off, almost 2 full weeks...it was fun!

The new year has been a time of adjustment for us, we are learning and changing daily...especially Eli! He is almost 4 months, as sweet as ever and growing like a weed~ Emma excepted Christ as her Savior on the 14th of Jan...an exciting time around here...Ian is still Ian, one of the most loving boys I know...he amazes me at what you pick up on from listening...Alex is great, and we are so thankful for his job and the knowledge of him not loosing it in this time. We (Alex and I have been leading a small group in Financial Peace and it has been so rewarding for us, we have been wanting to be able to give to other people the knowledge we learned from the classes a while back....we have been given an awesome opportunity to serve others, and a great chance to make some wonderful friendships, I already know we will miss these people when we finish! We also have some things in the works at our church as far as serving goes that will start up soon, both of us are very excited about that...more to come as it unfolds!

Well I must go, the car is warming up for Eli and me to venture over to Nicks and go play in the snow!....love to all!...stay warm!

98,99,37....

Ian is counting for them to play hide and seek....I just heard him say "98, 99, 37...ready, not, here I came!" LOL, I am so glad that they make me smile and laugh, otherwise some days I might not make it! Ian is sick again, w/ the nasty nose and cough. I am currently waiting on the dr call back and tell me what the plan is!...ever since he had RSV he seems to get a cold and keep it FOREVER! and we go around and around w/ different antibiotics! It's so frustrating!

Shannon, you asked about how we got Eli to smile like that...well! He just loves to smile, there is no cool trick at all! If you just talk to him, he will give you this award winning smile! But of course he saves his best smiles for mommy! heehee! Melanie was just talking to him while she was snapping the pics~ She captured him at his best! He is a happy baby, always smiling and talking to whoever will listen! No wonder I can't get anything done, all I want to do is hold and talk to him...and that's about all I do! lol, and I love every minute of it! We went on Monday and had his first round of shots done (he had a cold at his well visit, so we didn't do them then) and he only cried for like 10 seconds....amazed me, Ian would milk the tears for like 20 minutes! Before the nurse even left the room he was smiling again!





here are a few more of my smiling baby!

here are our Christmas Pictures!

A big thank you to Melanie for taking our pictures the other day!....I know we were wondering what I had done having another kid! hehee!


These are a few of my favorites!

Christmas preview!

tagged....

thanks to Shannon, I was tagged...it took me a while to do it, but join in, it's fun!


1. Egg nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Chocolate, add a little peppermint to make it yummy!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Neither....we don't do Santa w/ our kids(no comments on that please!...it's our choice!)

3. Colored lights or white?
White.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No, but I should, hmmm, I might have to look for some this year!

5. When do you put your decorations up?
The day after thanksgiving

6. Favorite holiday dish?
Asparagus casserole, my aunt makes.

7. Favorite childhood memory?
the treasure hunt my dad sent me on to find my presents, one a dollhouse he made me and then my bunny he bought me that year.

8. When/how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I guess I always knew, my parents didn't do santa w/ us when we were kids...

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
When we were kids, only at my grandparents...
Now our kids actually open all their presents on Christmas Eve morning, b/c we have to be at my moms at 8:30 on Christmas morning, it's more fun for them on Christmas Eve b/c they can stay home all day and play w/ their toys, until we leave that night for where ever we are going!

10. How do you decorate the tree?
ummm...we pull out he box and load the tree...the kids each have a new ornament each year...oops I just realized I didn't get them one this year!heehee...new mommy brain?...so maybe we'll break that tradition?

11. Snow. Love it or dread it?
I can do without...BUT I love how excited the kids get over it...Ian doesn't even know what it is, but b/c Emma is wanting it SO bad, he wants it too! I can do w/ a day or 2...just don't ask me to go out in it unless I am going skiing, then bring it on!...but NO snowballs please!

12. Can you ice skate?
YES, love it, but haven't been since Alex was the youth pastor at our other church.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
YES, it was the dollhouse my dad made for me, it in my attic now, for Emma one day!

14. What is the most important thing about the holidays to you?
Being w/ my family, and teaching my kids the real meaning of Christmas...JESUS

15. Favorite holiday dessert?
All of them...but for the last few years I have made peppermint bark...love it!

16. Favorite Christmas Tradition?
Being at my Grandparents w/ my cousins on Christmas Eve...the only time we would be together and not beg to spend the night w/ each other!...this year we are doing that on the 26th though! :( And my other grandmother when she was alive always put candy canes on her tree as part of the trees decorations and we would come and take one...but you had to make sure she didn't know where you got it from or she would "pretend" to be mad at you for "messing up her tree" and as you are finding out...I loved some candy canes!

17. What tops your tree?
a star...we had an angel, until we read this book to Emma about the legend of the Christmas tree....they had a star, and Emma was upset that we had an angel, so we got a star...I like the star better than the angel we had...so it worked out!

18. Do you prefer giving or receiving?
i love giving, but I am like Brandy, it can get stressful and that can take the fun away from it....Alex and I can't keep up w/ the "Jones'" so I have to swallow my pride and sometimes give things that aren't as pricey as what my kids might be receiving...it's hard, even when you tell other not to spend so much, they do, and then you feel obligated to do the same for their kids!....see, stress...and that makes it hard!

19. Favorite Christmas song?
to this day I still smile every time I hear Micheal W. Smith's song "Gloria" and all the other songs we did w/ my sign language group!...good times :)

20. Candy canes. Yum or yuck?
as I have referred to peppermint before....YUMMY!

21. What do you want for Christmas?
For my brother to find a job, my husband to pass his test, and for Gary to be out from under this medical stuff!?? I have no wants....plus Alex and I just got the Wii FIT and called it Christmas!

22. Do you attend an annual Christmas party?
Alex's work party...and I don't need a new outfit...although I have NOTHING that fits right....I choose to be different! heehee, plus it's raining today and I don't want to drag the kids out like I planned to find something to wear!

23. Do you dress up for Christmas Eve or wear P.J.'s?
we are at one of our grandparents...so I can't wear my PJ's although I wish I could...how cool would that be?

24. Do you own a Santa hat?
Me, no, kids...there's a baby one around here somewhere!

25. Who do you normally spend Christmas with?
as in Christmas day? Well, we go to my mom's Christmas morning for breakfast, w/ mom and Gary, Nick, Sam, Savannah, Becca and sometimes Melanie and her girls(but they can't come this year) and of course all of us...then we go to Alex's dad's that night w/ his dad and Della, his brother, Jonathan and Kelly their kids Jackson and Lydia, his step-sister Jera and her kids Nevaeh, and Gage, and his grandparents for dinner...then back home LATE! We see his other grandparents and mom on Christmas Eve and my dad's parents and family one the day after Christmas(for the first time this year...we for a long time had to go 2 places on Christmas Eve...it's nice to only have one place to go!)


Thanks Shannon for tagging me, it was fun, especially thinking about all the memories from growing up! I love Christmas SO much!

I am picking Susan, Jenn, Chelsea, Dawn, Kate, Crystal and Jenny to tag!...have fun!

I think....

I think that is the best of ALL the pictures I took of the kids in their Christmas PJ's...enjoy it here, because I have to be honest, I still haven't printed Eli's first pictures...much less have I even thought about a Christmas card....so don't get your hopes up to much and PLEASE forgive me now!

I think...I could go and spend at least $100.00 printing pictures, just to get caught up...not to mention giving some to family who I know by now think I have lost it!


I think....some days I have lost my mind and will never find it again...heehee, along w/ the fact that I lost my BSF lesson for the week...nice! oh well, at least I haven't lost my kids...yet, nor the Christmas presents!

I think...I will NEVER have a chance to start wrapping presents, they have make it from the closet to a big box in the garage (which is closer to the car where they will end up eventually!) but some how at some time I need to get them wrapped...anyone out there just love to wrap and want to wrap mine too? heehheee...just kidding, I love wrapping!...I'm just not sure when I will do it! most likely at midnight the night before they are needed!


I think...this is going to be the best Christmas in a LONG time....we don't have 2 places to be on Christmas Eve...and we will be celebrating an extra day...yeah for family FINALLY changing the tradition! I think...that is awesome!

I think...I might be finally adjusting to 3...and that the "lost my mind" syndrome is just the new normal! I might as well laugh at it!

I think...my pot disagrees because I am sure it would of rather me of not left it on the stove while I nursed the baby...burning the paste it was so nicely cooking for me...

I don't think... that pot will ever be the same again!....oh well! :)

I think....my husband is awesome, but we might be tired of each other after he is off for 13 days around Christmas!

I think...I'm scared to call my mom and find out how Gary's doctors appointment went today...I'm not sure I want to know!


I think....I'm tired of Ian being a pirate! Does anyone know how to convince a little boy to stop being such a boy ALL THE TIME!...Or maybe how to convince him to be a cowboy or something else not involving a sword?


I think....my husband is stressed to the max...pray for him tomorrow!

I think....I'm tired of thinking!
:)

I admit it....I just don't have time!

So if you haven't figured it out yet...I am struggling to find time to blog! Like right now....I shouldn't be sitting here blogging...no Ian needs to be getting to bed for his nap, Emma needs a shower, Eli will want to eat again in about an hour and a half, I need a shower and to be dressed before the delivery guys come for our building out back! Then Alex's dad is coming after the delivery....lol! I need to be working w/ Emma on her AWANA verse for tonight and we need to be ready to leave here by 4:30! SO...this seems to be the story of my life right now...there is always a "needs to be done" list...BUT, instead, I find myself holding a baby, playing w/ kids and LOVING being a mommy! Some days are tough, really tough, but most days have been awesome. It took me longer than I expected to jump in to a good routine...but the Lord showed me to slow down and stop expecting so much of myself...something I have always struggled with....now I know my limitations and am learning to actually enjoy them. I was in tears when Alex told me about his school schedule, and those days have been tough, but during this time, the Lord showed me that truly w/ His strength I can do it! Two weeks ago Alex and I started leading a small group on finances and again, I worried that it was to much...God showed me that when HE calls you to do something for Him, He will make a way and He has...and we are loving this new group of people and getting to experience part of life w/ them! It is always exciting to know that when you give your time to God and allow Him to decide how you are going to spend that time, then you can enjoy that time SO much more, b/c you know you are where you are suppose to be!...does that make since? I hope so! Anyway, all that said to say, I haven't had much time to sit and blog, I know in my heart it will be a long time before I can again....I will try to update when I can, but don't be surprised if it's not often.....know that I'm off holding my baby or teaching my oldest to read or "trying" to potty train my middle!

the kids are great, Eli is an awesome baby, and I think weighing in around 11 or so lbs, we have our next appointment on the 2nd of Dec...so we'll see then, but he has totally filled out....and we finally got the cloth diapers to work! I am LOVING them...L...O...V...I...N...G them! Thanks Brandy for all the help, I owe you one! Even Alex has learned how to change one! I am deciding if I want to go to them full time and try and take them w/ me places or not...we'll see, for now I'm still just doing it at home. I started WW and that has actually helped me SO much w/ nursing, Eli has been more content, it seems I wasn't eating enough before and now that I am on a point system I know I'm getting enough AND I'm loosing weight...which is a bonus! LOL...and yes I'm wanting to loose weight...I am done having kids and am DETERMINED to like my body...if that means loosing weight...then that's what I'm going to do! :)

Emma is learning like crazy...she will be reading long, I know it! We put off preschool until Jan. but she is determined to learn anyway....she just finished up her first set of swimming lessons which she loved and did great w/....we don't start back until January!

Ian is all boy, we "tried" to potty train, but I quickly realized that even though I might be ready, he's not...so we will continue to wait, he won't be 3 for a while, so I am not pushing anything...he's allergies are bad right now, but I am learning to expect that, this time of year, I hope to keep him out of the dr's office this winter....pray w/ me for that! It's hard to believe that a year ago this time we were learning about 80 something allergies that he had and feeling so overwhelmed w/ it...God had been faithful in giving us wisdom in dealing w/ them! He is such a trooper w/ his allergies and I am thankful we decided not to do the shots, but I hate seeing him so stopped up and the breathing treatments are not fun for him! He is great doing them compared to some horror stories I have heard, but it's not fun even though he doesn't fight it! He is talking like you can't believe and just recently found his imagination which is fun to listen to!

Alex are I are good, LOVING watching our children grow...we would NEVER trade our life for anything!

that should about catch everyone up! Now I am off to throw diapers in the dryer, and shower me and Emma at the same time...kill 2 birds w/ one stone...Ian is already in bed and I have 45 minutes til snacktime for Eli! :)

my sweet sweet daughter and her halloween story!

So I waited this year until last Wednesday to buy Halloween costumes...I know CRAZY, and I don't suggest it, unless added stress is something you enjoy, then go ahead! LOL! The reason being, is we didn't decide to "do Halloween" until Tuesday!....I know, I know, it a discussion every year between Alex and me...but I think we have made a decision to hold on to from now on!

ANYWAY!...to my story

We started out the day on Wednesday going to Target and Old Navy, both of which had nothing we were pleased w/....FYI, Emma had her heart set on being a butterfly (which is what she plans to be when she grows up! LOL :) ) and Ian wanted to be a cowboy...both very determined! lol....SO our plans for the day included going to eat lunch w/ Alex, something we are doing on Wednesdays while he's in school, so the kids can see him, and then "visit" w/ some people in his office, which is code for my kids getting a bunch of candy..they LOVE "visiting" at daddy's work!lol, and the men there are worse than the ladies w/ the candy! haha! So after we left there we met up w/ Mimi and Granddaddy, who graciously went w/ us to Concord, no, I wasn't ready for that adventure on my own! lol...I started at Babiesrus b/c a week before they had RACKS of costumes!...not anymore...one little rack, nothing bigger than 6 months!...next Toysrus...again, NOTHING, but yucky stuff like witches and we weren't going there! :) So when we got back in the car from toysrus, Emma ask me, "mommy, what are we going to do?" She was so worried that there would be no costumes to be found! I told her to pray and ask Jesus to help us find a costume and if HE wanted her to be a butterfly, then HE would show us where to find it! This seemed to work for her, and I SO sent up a prayer asking Him for help, to at least help us find costumes that they would be excited about...I admit, I doubted we would find a butterfly and a cowboy! After dinner, we went to Childrens Place in Concord Mills....AND...believe it or not, we found a whole rack of cowboy outfit! I was SO excited, there wasn't a size 2/3, but they had 1 size 4 left and I knew I could make it work, not to mention he could wear it a whole lot longer to play in!...then as I was standing there, I looked up and on display there was...YES...a butterfly costume, now, it looked little, and I was afraid to hope, but we had the girl check the size...Emma had spotted it too by this time and was jumping up and down in excitement...it was 12-18 months...but...it looked big...would it fit??? She took it down for us to try on, I am reminding Emma that "it might not fit, don't get to excited yet" and we tried it on, right there in the middle of the store! IT FIT LIKE IT WAS MADE FOR HER! and it was pink and purple!....thank you Jesus for answering this mommy's prayer and caring about a little girls costume!

So after the purchases were made, we made a potty stop, and in the restroom, I asked Emma if she was excited...here is the conversation that followed!

me...Emma are you excited about your butterfly?
E...YES...I can't wait to show daddy!
me...Isn't it exciting that Jesus answered your prayer!?
E...umm Mommy, I didn't pray for Jesus to help me find a butterfly costume...
me...you didn't, why not?
E...well, I wasn't sure He would answer...how would He answer?
(I could tell she was very unsure of how Jesus would audibly answer her....she was wondering for sure)
me...well, you have a butterfly costume, don't you? That is your answer, Jesus wanted you to have one, so He showed us where to find it.
E...but Mommy, I didn't pray for one!
(at this point, she is close to tears b/c she was concerned that she hadn't asked Jesus for help)
me...but mommy did, I prayed and asked Jesus to help us find your butterfly costume and Ian's cowboy costume
E...(as she wraps her arms around me!) THANK YOU MOMMY FOR PRAYING FOR MY COSTUME...I LOVE IT...

Later that night when she was going to bed, she thanked Jesus over and over for her costume...the whole idea was such a learning experience for her, she for a long time has had a good understanding for God and Jesus, but this reminded me that she is still only 4 and although she seems to understand the concept of God, she is still a literal child who wasn't exactly sure how Jesus was going to "answer" her prayer!...now I think she understand! :) The next day, someone asked her what she was going to be for Halloween, and she said, "a butterfly, and Jesus helped me find it!" LOL! I LOVED IT!

Thank you Jesus for your reminder to this Mommy that you care about the small stuff...even Halloween costumes....I love you!

I'll post pictures soon!

Is she surviving????....

YES, the answer is yes, sometimes it feels like "barely surviving!" but I am still alive. Can I even tell you how many times I have thought about posting and yet, I never made it to the computer to actually do it! Today has been unusual for me, I WAS going to attempt going back to BSF today, but after a sleepless night, and yes there have been quite a few of those, :) I chickened out and sent the kids w/ mom and Gary, the wonderful man that he is, came over and took Eli for me, so I pumped a bottle and took a shower and went back to bed for an extra 2 hours....2 WONDERFUL HOURS of needed sleep, then mom and Gary took both Emma and Ian for the WHOLE afternoon...Emma had swimming lessons and Ian was begging to go to "grammy's house" so that left me w/ just Eli for the afternoon, I was able to get the whole house in order and a load of wash done, I can now officially do a load a day and always have a FULL load! LOL, but I have done well w/ that, and don't get overwhelmed w/ 4 load to do at once!

So how has it been going?....Good, hard, fun, difficult, and everything in between!

Eli is a good baby, he seems to be struggling w/ reflux, like Ian, he is very gassy, I am hoping this doesn't mean he's going to be allergic to the world like Ian w/ his 60 something allergies! He has his one month appointment this week so I'll talk to the dr about it then! I am hoping that he isn't going to stay gassy like Ian did....w/ Ian once I switched to formula he was so much happier, and I always wondered why, well when we had him allergy tested and found out that he is allergic to most food, including green bean and cantaloupe! SO everything I ate bothered him...lovely, I am hoping that isn't the case w/ Eli, but so far, he seems to be following that same pattern! We'll see!

He is a little guy, alot like Emma, he was 7 12 when he was born, 7,4 when we left the hospital, still 7, 4 a week later, and then 7, 11 at 2 weeks old, I am interested to see what he is going to weigh at one month. Em and I both were back to their birth weight at one week, Ian was over by like 4 ozs...so this is different for me to have one stay little so long! He has little hands and feet like Em, so I think he is going to be little like she is! He is such a sweet baby, doesn't even cry when he's in pain w/ the gas, you can see it on his face, and know he's hurting, but usually there is no tears! He does like to grunt and squeak we call him squeaker a lot!


OK so this is now my third time working on this post, apparently I am not going to do well w/ getting anything posted for a while...honestly, w/ the way we are sleeping...or not sleeping around here, most days I don't even think about the computer or blogging or anything like that, all my "down time"...lol...I spend sleeping! :) BUT last night I got good sleep, well, for having an infant! SO I am on top of the world today! and wanted to finish this and get the pics posted...so w/o anymore typing, here are the pictures!










Now if I can just get them to Costco to be printed before he turns 1 I'll be doing really well! LOL! I'll be back when I can, but just know, it might be a while! Now I am off to do some cleaning, while I have energy from all my sleep!

love to all!

Eli Brice Helms

I know all y'all really care about it the pictures...but you have to hear the story too! He made his entrance into the world around 5:45 yesterday afternoon! He weighs in at 7 lbs and 12 oz. and is 21 inches long. He is a GOOD baby, so far, hasn't cried a bit....except the poking of the needle right after his birth! He is starting to nurse better, but at this point would rather sleep!

Emma and Ian came about an hour after he got here...both where very unsure of the whole thing...of course, he looked a little "weird" w/ all the goop and eye drops and stuff...SO they were pretty stand-offish. Ian just wanted me to "get up mommy...don't like bed" They left w/ Gary after about 45 minutes to watch a movie and wait for daddy to come and put them to bed. They came back w/ Alex this morning and were very excited to see their brother and Emma was VERY ready to hold him, now that he looked clean and cute! Ian still stood back, but was glad I was up and moving around...he too eventually held Eli..and did great and was so cute w/ him...you'll see the pics I promise!lol.

This was totally my hardest delivery yet, but we made it through, yes there were some tears...but no tearing...lol! Some complications, but nothing major, and he was fine the whole time! The dr and the nurses were great, no complaints there at all! We are all great, and VERY glad to have Eli on this side!...now, let the fun begin! :)










We will be going home tomorrow midmorning...I can't wait to get in my bed and sleep on my stomach! Last night I was up ALOT, they had to give me extra fluids b/c of a blood pressure problem...SO I peed all night long! LOVELY right!lol, so he slept and I was up!lol...go figure! Keep up in your prayers and come by and see the baby! :)


OH and happy birthday MOM!...I love you, thanks for spending your "big day" w/ me helping me w/ the kids and Eli...and ME!