happy birthday Ian!

some random pictures of the birthday boy!

So our morning started w/ Emma coming in to climb in our bed around 7 this morning...I am grateful we made it until 7, normally it's earlier, but now on Friday my kids like to sleep in b/c we have home group on Thursday night and don't get home until late...very shortly after I hear the baby...so I get up to go and get him...where I am awarded w/ a HUGE smile, I LOVE peeking over into his crib and getting that smile, the one that says..."you are the best thing in the WHOLE WORLD Mommy!" As I head out of their room, Ian's door opens...I peek around the corner and this is the conversation that followed:

Me: Good morning buddy!
I: Morning...while he rubs his eyes!
Me: Ian, it's your birthday!
I: I THFEEE NOW?...the sleepiness has quickly disappeared!
Me: yes you are three now
I: YEAH, YES...I BIG BOY NOW!
Me: Laughing....yes Ian, your a big boy now!
I: I go tell Daddy!...and off he goes to tell daddy he's a big boy now!


Soon after Ian and Daddy were off to Duncan Donuts to pick out some breakfast!...Alex was able to go in late this morning...unfortunately he won't be home until after midnight tonight! BUT he was able to get our morning off to a good start w/ donuts...yummy! and yes I ate one! But only one, I refuse to undo all my hard work at loosing weight...I am very close to the 20 lb mark and donuts are not going to ruin it for me!...neither will the McDonald's trip we have planned later!..lol!..but it is his birthday and I did give birth to him, so I should get to celebrate too...right?...hmmm I guess I have never mentioned my quest for loosing weight before..so to fill you in quickly, I started working really hard on loosing weight after my 6 week appointment after Eli! I had lost most of the weight I gained during my pregnancy...but was far...very far from where I needed to be. I asked the dr to give me an "ideal HEALTHY weight goal" that day and then cried when I got to the car!...it seemed impossible as he had given me a 10 lbs "between this and this" goal and it was almost 20 lbs I needed to loose to even get to the larger of the 2 weights and then 30 lbs to get to the smaller of the 2 weights! I was so discouraged...BUT, I decided that day, I was the only one who could DO anything about it and I was determined to not whine and not change...I didn't want to walk around and talk about no liking my body/weight(and wanting to be more healthy)...yet be doing nothing about it...so I started a life change...and now I am so excited to say I am only 1/2 a lb away from the larger of the 2 weights and I still have the goal to loose 5 more lbs so I can be "in the middle" of the 2 weights he gave me!...I am close, but as anyone who has ever worked to loose weight knows...the last 5 lbs are the hardest!..it's slow going now...but I won't give up!....all that to say, I have given myself permission to enjoy today!....donuts and all!...ok, so that wasn't very short at all!...sorry for the rabbit trail!...back to birthday thoughts!


You know I got to thinking about how easy it would be if things like "a day" really could change our life. In his mind, now he's 3 and that means he's a big boy, he has talked about being a big boy that will peepee and poop in the potty (hmm, that would be nice...if it's that easy!) He has talked about sharing his toys b/c he's 3...(hmm, again that would be nice!) and in his mind he should be able to do that all b/c he's 3~ How nice would that be if it were true!...if we could just pick a day for our human nature to be done away w/ and for only Christ to shine through...like Ian thinking b/c he's 3 he will ALWAYS share his toys...he has no idea that sharing is a learned thing, that most likely he will struggle w/ his whole life, b/c we in our humanous don't like to share!...That sharing is something we have to work at doing...but I admit, I like the ease of his thought process!


Ok, so enough about that! My Ian is 3 it's so hard to believe how the time has flown by in the last few years! I remember when he was born, I had a dr's appointment that day and left Emma w/ Gary, and didn't leave any instructions b/c I just knew I would be back home..I didn't pack a bag, I just knew I would be pregnant forever at that point!lol...as it was I didn't go back home, but rather straight over to have him by inductions b/c he was in a dry sack. I had mom w/ me, but Alex was at work...poor guy had only be back at work for a week from his accident and then I'm calling him and telling him to come to the hospital! He had an appointment with PT that day and I remember calling to see if we could get his appointment changed and he was able to go early...around 12...instead of 4! Mom left to go and get my clothes while Alex was at PT and that was the same time they started the drugs for me...not a good thing, I was all alone during the worst of the whole labor....now I don't know if you have ever been induced...but I have done it both ways...being induced is horrible compared to the natural way of labor starting!...there is no time for the build up of pain tolerance no, you are in full labor right away!...so I was able to get my eppi pretty quickly which was nice and then after that Ian was by far my easiest baby I delivered and my biggest! So mom and Alex both missed the worst part of the labor and by the time they got back I was fine...Alex told everyone, this one was SO easy!...lol, oh well, he was still non-weight bearing on one hand...all he could do was watch!lol! I was looking at pictures to other day and the one of Alex holding Ian was pitiful, he looked so sick still...pale and uncomfortable holding Ian...thank goodness that is all history now!

What I remember of Ian's birth is...thinking, is that really my baby as soon as he came out!...LOL...he was so BIG and had red hair! He didn't look anything like his sister and in my mind he should of been the boy version of her!

I remember a friend, Dawn coming late that night after he was born to visit and trying on the socks I had bought for him and them not even going on his foot!...we had a really good laugh over that one, Emma was so tiny and I just knew Ian would be the same that I had "better prepared" for him....yeah right, there is no such thing!lol I remember Emma at 19months finally connecting the dots of "baby" that mommy had been telling her about for a long time. She was leaving and saw pictures on the door of the photographer room and then came running back in to Ian and says "BABY" and runs to the pictures and says "BABY" and then back again! TOO CUTE!

Ian, you are such a FUN boy to hang out with! I love playing pirates with you and having sword fights! I can't wait to watch you grow over then next years, your personality is so full of life,fun loving, sensitive, caring and concerned for others! Never change those things and you will do well in life! I LOVE how when we ask you what you learned at church or puggles you always say "about God" in your mind nothing else matters...and you are right! I love to watch you pretend you are Miss Amy(your Puggles teacher) and how you show all your pretend "children" the flash cards and tell them the story...along w/ telling them to sit still!...b/c I am sure you are the one she is telling to "sit still" at puggles so you think that is part of the story! :) I love your smile, and the way you come and tell me "I take good nap mommy!" after you wake up from your nap! I love the way you like to be read to and that even though you have the book "wocket in my pocket" memorized you still want it read to you daily! I love that you adore your sister, she is the best thing in your world, and you plan to marry her "when you grow up!"...that I know will change, but for now, it's so sweet! I love how when Eli's crying you came and tell me "Mommy Eli's crying, but I'll take care of him for you!" and then you are off the talk to him until I can get there...and by the time I get there, Eli is all smiles again! You are a great big brother and Eli adores you so much...never abuse that!

Ian, I love you so much! I can't wait to teach you more and more in the years to come...you are such a joy to me! I LOVE YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

powerwheels, camping, tax returns and a little more!

Hey everyone....just a quick note to let everyone know how much I appreciated the prayers. Mom is home and making a quick recovery! Thank you to everyone for the calls and the notes letting me know you care! Most of you know how hard it is for me to have mom get sick, it brings back such hard memories of dad being sick, so your thoughts are more sweet to me than you can even realize.

It's funny as you near the year anniversary of someones death, you seems to have this "idea" that "it's going to be different or easier this year" yet, it never is...this time of year is always hard for me...it's not like I go into depression anymore...it's more like I find myself just a little more sensitive to life...I have learned over the last few years to really try to shift my focus, not to not remember my dad, but to look for the things I can look forward to instead of the more obvious pain of what is missing.

So in honor of doing that...here is my list of things I'm looking forward too!

Ian's birthday! We bought him a powerwheels....he will be thrilled, but for now I am SO excited I can hardly stand it!

Going camping...the first of April we are going camping w/ Susan and her crew...6 kids, 3 tents and a mountain! Sounds like a blast to me...did you hear that Todd, we will have fun! :P

The NCHE conference, now this is one I NEVER thought I would be saying I'm excited about, but I am, I CAN NOT WAIT to get to the book fair w/ money to spend!

Our tax return!...we found out today what we are getting back! It is more than we expected and I am thrilled...it amazes me how God provides! (a shout out to Nathan for doing our taxes!)

My brother turns 30....heeheehe....I'm glad he's first! Let the planning begin!

Starting up the garden...I am SO ready to plant...I want it to be warmer so we can get out there and get it going....I am glad I'm not prego this summer so I can do so much more in the garden!

Well that is my spring line up...now I have some spring fever....I think I'll go and clean something!....next I'll have the summer line up....which will include but not be limited to Alex's birthday, our anniversary, vacation, gardening, starting up school, and lot's more!...stay tuned :)

Pray...please!

Hey everyone, this will be short....My mom went in the hospital last night and will be having surgury sometime this afternoon. They are thinking it is her apendex, but aren't completely sure. They are running more test as I type....Pray for her pain, which is ALOT right now...I'll keep you posted!

around the corner....

Time flies when you are having fun....that's the saying anyway! Around here it seems to be time flies when your sick!....although the days seem SO long sometimes! I turn around and it's been three weeks since I have blogged anything...I know I said it would be few and farther in between...but gosh, I didn't mean non-existent! These last few weeks have been rather strange for me. Both the boys have been sick...Eli twice now, Ian is struggling w/ allergies AGAIN...this weather is killing him! We haven't made it to AWANA in a full month now....nice. I had to give up BSF, b/c Eli won't take a bottle and it's way to hard to expect Gary to keep him when I know he will give him a fit. Alex and I did go out w/ Todd and Susan last Friday night and Eli had to suffer through, but for some reason I can do that w/ mom keeping him and not feel bad. We had a great time out!....camping here we come!....right Todd! :) But other than that, Eli is really attached at the hip right now, which I really don't mind to much! When he first stop taking the bottle I felt very trapped, but then I realized that he will be a big boy before I'm ready so I might as well enjoy this time and not be stressed that it's not going the way I want!

Do you ever wonder what's around the corner? I very much feel like that right now...every time I turn around I wonder why God is requiring this or that from me...I feel like I'm being stretched.....alot....right now. I don't consider this a bad thing, in fact I know from experience this is a good thing...a very good thing. I also find it hard and exhausting at the same time. I know that God has given me a very specific purpose right now, and this stretching fits into that plan...so why do I sometimes struggle to except the change that's coming? It's the weirdest thing, I want the changes...even need the changes....yet the changes make me want to cry all at the same time! Alex and I have moved to the uptown campus of Elevation to be able to serve and help out w/ starting Ekidz we also moved community groups and changed what service we are attending ourselves. I gave up BSF, and we haven't be able to be at AWANA in a few weeks....nothing from my normal schedule still remains. We finish up our FPU class next week and then that will be over too. I am interested to see what God is planning...he has completely cleared my schedule...the question is what for? I have been spending some time w/ other homeschool moms, and they have helped me see some of why my schedule is clearing...it's just I hadn't planned to clear it 7 months b/f we started school....hmmm! It's in His hands, I know I have to be careful what I choose to put into my schedule from here forward, b/c my primary focus will be shifting to my kids educations. I know this isn't the first time God has cleared my schedule, He did this a couple of summers ago and it ended up being one of the most fulfilling times of my life...a wonderful time of growth, b/c I wasn't to busy to hear from him. I know I need to be sure I slow down and not miss what it is He's bring my way! My prayer is to know Him more fully everyday, and the only way I can do that is by slowing down to listen to what He's telling me....pray for me as I start this new adventure He has waiting for me....pray that I can see what it is soon! :)